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A woman wakes up after a Vaginal Tuck.

On the window sill, she sees three bunches of flowers.

One from her surgeon to say all went well.

One from her husband, "get well soon and I love you."

And one from Tommy in the burns unit, to say,

"Thank you for the new ears."

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[NSFW] My mom had a vaginal cyst drained today. She said it was as painful as childbirth.

I asked her how my baby cyst-er is doing.

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A woman wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses careful...

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I asked my girlfriend what it was like to have a vaginal orgasm

She responded, “I don’t know”

Vaginal yeast infections

Will make the south rise again!

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What do chainsaws and vaginal sex have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you're in deep shit.

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What do you call an anorexic with a vaginal infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

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I am absolutely certain that I only want vaginal sex...

No butts

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Recently, my brother opened a brothel. So far, business is going great. Blowjob is 25, anal 50, vaginal is not offered yet.

It's a new enterprise and he's the only one employed at the moment.

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A woman goes to a doctor for a vaginal examination

After the examination, the doctor says that everything looks good.
Well, says the woman, That is great because I'm getting married for the fourth time tomorrow!
Oh... the doctor says. But the research shows that you are a virgin ...

Yes, that's right, the woman answers, but my first hu...

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I told my girl that I didn't want to have vaginal sex with her during her periods.

She took it the wrong way.

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My girlfriend told me she likes vaginal sex more than anal sex because it's a lot cleaner

No shit

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The little mermaid asked the prince: “what so you like more-handjob, or vaginal sex?” to which the prince replied:

“Darling it’s better

Down where it’s wetter

Take it from me”

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The Fisherman

An esteemed researcher in the field of physiology of human sexuality is giving a lecture at the public library on a rainy Tuesday night.

He is explaining the density of nerve endings and his research on the female orgasm.

“While the majority of women experience clitoral orgasm due the...

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A guy gets on a bus... [long]

A guy gets on a bus—

The only available seat is next to a nun.
I HATE nuns, he thinks. It’s the only available seat, so he begrudgingly sits down next to her.
After a few minutes, she runs her head ever so slightly and he can see her face.
She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever ...

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A woman was at the doctors enquiring whether it was possible so to get a vaginal reduction

After multiple tests and doctors visits she found that she was eligible for the procedure.

After she woke up form the anaesthetic she found three beatuiful bouquets for flowers by her bed side.

One from her surgeon, saying that everything had gone smoothly and her recovery should only...

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Why did god create vaginal mycosis?

So women can experience living with an annoying cunt, too.

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I'm role-playing as a doctor with my girlfriend

She takes off her pants and I tell her that a vaginal exam isn't covered by her insurance; then I dress up as an insurance salesman and fuck her over the phone for five hours straight.

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Good Doctor

Following a difficult natural birth, the delivering doctor was tending to the new mother. The curious father asked the doctor what he was doing.

“She had a slight vaginal tear during delivery. I’m stitching it up.”

“Gee doc, could you put an extra stitch in there?” Asked the new fathe...

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So Mrs. Smith decides she wants vaginal rejuvenation

So Mrs. Smith has been around the block a time or two, and she decides she wants vaginal rejuvenation. She finds a surgeon who performs the procedure and has a consultation with him. In the discussion she tells the surgeon that she absolutely does not want a single word of her having the procedure t...

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How Canada was named

So it's the year of 1865, and The British Empire has just birthed a new nation. The birth was a regular vaginal birth, and to the relief of everyone, it was much less complicated then the one in 1776. Anyways, now it was time to give name for the new born nation. The British Empire tired from the la...

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Your best friend has three girlfriends

Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 wants to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?

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Benefit of having sex with a non binary person (who is in reality a female)

You get to have vaginal sex when its a she, and anal when its a he

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Last week I caught up with an old coworker. He told me he’d left our former company a few weeks earlier to start a brothel.

I replied, “that’s interesting; I’ve never been to one. What are the rates like?”
“I charge $100 for oral and $200 for anal at the moment.”
“What if I just want to have, like, vaginal sex?”
He said, “Oh I’ve been too busy; I haven’t hired a staff yet.”

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A shy woman decides to have surgery

She wants to have surgery to remove her large vaginal lips which have always made her self conscious. She finds a doctor and schedules the procedure but swears him to secrecy. "No one can ever know" she admonishes, and he agrees. After the anesthesia wears off she awakes to find three roses on her ...

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Rancher Abe and his mating bull

Abe the rancher was having issues with his stock because his prized bull would not mate. Abe's friends told him to try a vaginal smear technique.
They told Abe to get a cow and rub the vaginal juices and then rub it onto and under the bulls nose

Sure enough, Abe's prized bull when crazy a...

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It's a joke about ED and cows.

So there's farmer, Who is having trouble getting his cows to reproduce. No matter how he tries, they just won't get busy.

So the man needs a cow expert, and consults the foremost cow scientist in the country. After an explanation of the problem, the expert tells him he needs to stick his han...

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[NSFW] A woman goes in for surgery...

A woman is booked in to have a vaginal reconstruction operation and prior to the procedure she shaves and cleans downstairs to help make the operation go smoothly.

After the operation she awakes to find three roses on her bedside table, she turns to the nurse and asks, "Excuse me nurse, where...

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Med school exam

A young student is struggling during his histology exam and the professor wants to give him one last chance:
"You've clearly studied the subject, but you need to be more confident. Answer me this last question and you're good to go. Is the vaginal epithelium ciliated?".
The student is tired, w...

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