UPJOKE
pregnancymenstruationendometriumluteal phaseestrogenprogesteroneovulationmenopauseestradioluterusimplantationcyclefollicular phaseovarian folliclemenarche

Menstrual Cycle Jokes

what is the menstrual cycle?

So this dude asked his friend: what is the menstrual cycle?

His friend replied: I don't know man, but it seems very serious.

What do you mean?

I heared my sister telling my parents that she hadn't had hers for a couple of months.

Now, my sister is crying, my mother is i...

A woman 14 days into her menstrual cycle starred in a Broadway play

She got a standing ovulation

I met a woman at the bar and asked to take her home

She said I'm on my menstrual cycle, I said that's okay I'll follow you on my Honda

I once made a movie about menstrual cycles in Elizabethan England.

It was a period piece.

I was going to make a pun about Elizabeth the 1st's menstrual cycle...

But I don't like making period jokes, because not everyone gets them.

Menstrual cycle jokes aren't funny...

Period

A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles.

It was about bloody time.

You see that movie about Queen Victoria's first menstrual cycle?

I thought it was bloody good and I normally don't care for period dramas.

What do you call two girls having their menstrual cycles?

A menstrual bicycle.

What's the most common vehicle used to run men over?

The menstrual cycle!

Have you guys heard about the female rapper who performs on her menstrual cycle?

They say she has a mean flow

Did you hear about the screening of that documentary movie on Menstrual cycle?

The audience gave it a standing ovulation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent scientific study revealed that women found different male attributes attractive depending on where they were in their menstrual cycle.

For example, a woman ovulating found men with rugged masculine features most attractive.
Whereas a woman menstruating preferred men doused in petrol, set on fire with scissors stuck in his eyes, an axe in his skull and a javelin stuck up his arse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once dated a biker chick for a while

It got quite annoying as once a month she would jump on her menstrual cycle and run me the fuck over!

Guy: Can I walk you home?

Girl : No point, I'm on my menstrual cycle.
Guy: That's OK, I'll run behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Groundbreaking Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

Your place or mine?

A man met this one lady at the bar and they talked for a while and were getting along quite well. Some time passed and the bartender announced last call.

"Your place or mine?" said the man.

"It doesn't matter to me, but I must warn you I'm on my menstrual cycle."

"Oh that's okay...

Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditions:

1. The woman must have a very regular menstrual cycle.
2. You must be able to count well.
3. And you must really love children.

Loosely translated from Herman Finkers. My favorite dutch comedian.

Country boy gets lucky

A young man from the country heads to the city to seek new employment. While he is successful, he is lonely and decides to go to a bar to seek out some female companionship. While not terribly skilled at conversation, he manages to gain the interest of an attractive young lady seated at the bar. ...

What kind of bikes do girls ride?

Menstrual Cycles
(I'm 99% sure I made this up!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man at the local bar is very drunk...

A man at the local bar is very drunk and he is asking every single woman at the bar if she would like to go home and have sex with him.
After hours of failure, he tries again and much to his surprise, the woman agrees.
They leave the bar and start walking towards the parking lot, laughing and ...

Short joke my dad used to tell me

A man sees a pretty girl in a bar and asks if she wants to go back to his place.

"I can't," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He leans over and says, "That's okay, I brought my moped."

My Place?

This beautiful woman was sitting at the end of the bar one night. This guy sitting at the other end sees her, he has had a few drinks and decides to go over and talk to her. After a few more drinks together they start getting touchy feely with each other. After making out, the guy looks deep into he...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.