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Urinary Jokes

What do you call an overweight urinary doctor?

A meteorologist

What did the doctor say to the man with a serious urinary tract infection?

Urine trouble

There's a urinary side effect to the new Pfizer vaccine...

It makes your p silent.

My girlfriend constantly suffers from urinary tract infections

I told her she put the uti in cutie.

An elderly man has urinary incontinence. Why does he drink holy water before going to bed on Christmas Eve?

He wanted to sleep in heavenly pees.

Hey girl, are you a urinary tract infection?

‘Cuz ur-in-ate out of 10

What did the urologist say when she suddenly discovered a cure for Urinary Tract Infections?

Urethra!

What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin?

Immaculate Infection

When I get old and become a grandfather, I hope my family calls me pee-paw

Not because I would be grouchy, but because of my urinary incontinence

Tractor ain't working

A horse peed on my tractor the other day and now it won't run. Seems it's come down with a urinary tractor infection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does an 80-year old's vagina taste like?

Depends.

A pharmaceutical company specializing in nature-based products …

… was investigating reports that the bark of the Ningwood tree had the potential to help men with urinary incontinence. They tried different doses and found that the highest levels did result in some relief. In a press release about the trials they noted that more Ningwood makes it hard to pee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Caucasian decided to visit a hooker when he visited Thailand.

A week later upon returning to the States he developed severe urinary pain. This was followed by purulent discharge and blistering of his penis.

Anxiously worried he visited a physician who told him, “You have contracted a rare STD that unfortunately necessitates amputation of your penis. It ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Old-timers Were Discussing Problems of Old Age

The first one had urinary problems and said “It’s really terrible because I’m always
having to get up in the middle of the night to pee..and then other nights I need to pee
but nothing comes out. I’d give anything to just be able to pee normally.”

The second guy had elimination issues....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computerized Diagnosis !

Jack :-“My elbow really hurts I guess I should see doctor.

His friend “Don’t be so desi. There’s a computer at the
drug store that can diagnose anything quicker andcheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer
will diagnose your problem and tell yo...

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