Scottish lawmakers recently voted to make menstrual products free

It's about bloody time.

Menstrual cramps are the worst

Period.

Jokes about a women's menstrual cycle just aren't funny

Period.

What’s the difference between menstrual fluid and sand?

You can’t gargle sand.

what is the menstrual cycle?

So this dude asked his friend: what is the menstrual cycle?

His friend replied: I don't know man, but it seems very serious.

What do you mean?

I heared my sister telling my parents that she hadn't had hers for a couple of months.

Now, my sister is crying, my mother is i...

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A menstrual pad goes to school where she got bullied by two tampons

The toilet roll walked up to her and told the menstrual pad “Don’t listen to them, They’re both stuck up cunts”

What do you call a woman's first menstrual cycle after incarceration?

The period at the end of a sentence.

Why does it take five pre-menstrual women to change a lightbulb?

LOOK IT JUST DOES OKAY?

A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles.

It was about bloody time.

You see that movie about Queen Victoria's first menstrual cycle?

I thought it was bloody good and I normally don't care for period dramas.

Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle?

They said she had a mean flow!

Did you hear about the screening of that documentary movie on Menstrual cycle?

The audience gave it a standing ovulation.

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A recent scientific study revealed that women found different male attributes attractive depending on where they were in their menstrual cycle.

For example, a woman ovulating found men with rugged masculine features most attractive.
Whereas a woman menstruating preferred men doused in petrol, set on fire with scissors stuck in his eyes, an axe in his skull and a javelin stuck up his arse.

A woman lost so much menstrual blood she ended up unconscious for several weeks in a hospital.

I hate it when I intend a period but end up with a coma.

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What is the definition of a menstrual period ?

A bloody waste of fucking time.

Women complaining about menstrual cramps...

...are simply ovary acting.

My girlfriend made me watch a movie with her about how women struggled during their menstrual cycles in the 18th century.

It was a period piece

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I made a bike out of tampons.

It’s a menstrual cycle.

What do you call two girls having their menstrual cycles?

A menstrual bicycle.

what do you call a red and yellow hurricane in the tropics?

a menstrual cyclone!

There once was a vampire named Mabel...

Whose menstrual period was stable.

So one week in four

She'd slip to the floor

And drink herself under the table.

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Q. How many women in my house with Premenstrual syndrome does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One.......ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a fucking light bulb motherfucker! They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this motherfuckinghouse in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once th...

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Groundbreaking Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

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I once dated a biker chick for a while

It got quite annoying as once a month she would jump on her menstrual cycle and run me the fuck over!

A man meets a woman at a bar and invites her back to his place...

She says "I'm on my menstrual cycle".

He replies "Perfect! You can follow me on my mountain bike".

Country boy gets lucky

A young man from the country heads to the city to seek new employment. While he is successful, he is lonely and decides to go to a bar to seek out some female companionship. While not terribly skilled at conversation, he manages to gain the interest of an attractive young lady seated at the bar. ...

What kind of bikes do girls ride?

Menstrual Cycles
(I'm 99% sure I made this up!)

Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditions:

1. The woman must have a very regular menstrual cycle.
2. You must be able to count well.
3. And you must really love children.

Loosely translated from Herman Finkers. My favorite dutch comedian.

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A lounge owner is looking for a new pianist...

A man comes in to audition for the owner. He asks, "Is it alright if I play an original piece?"

The owner says, "That's fine. Begin whenever you're ready."

The man plays a beautiful score. The owner is so moved and overcome with emotion he can barely contain himself. When the pianist f...

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A man at the local bar is very drunk...

A man at the local bar is very drunk and he is asking every single woman at the bar if she would like to go home and have sex with him.
After hours of failure, he tries again and much to his surprise, the woman agrees.
They leave the bar and start walking towards the parking lot, laughing and ...

Your place or mine?

A man met this one lady at the bar and they talked for a while and were getting along quite well. Some time passed and the bartender announced last call.

"Your place or mine?" said the man.

"It doesn't matter to me, but I must warn you I'm on my menstrual cycle."

"Oh that's okay...

My Place?

This beautiful woman was sitting at the end of the bar one night. This guy sitting at the other end sees her, he has had a few drinks and decides to go over and talk to her. After a few more drinks together they start getting touchy feely with each other. After making out, the guy looks deep into he...

Short joke my dad used to tell me

A man sees a pretty girl in a bar and asks if she wants to go back to his place.

"I can't," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He leans over and says, "That's okay, I brought my moped."

There was this really talented female painter

and one day she painted this magnificent painting inspired by medieval times of a ball. It was filled with lords and ladies dancing with each other, a table filled with food for the feast, fools entertaining, and men in armor standing guard. She was so proud of this picture she called her friend ove...

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