How many "one-uppers" does it take to change a lightbulb?

5 but I have seen it done with four.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies and finds himself in Hell.

He is greeted by Satan.

Satan: Welcome to Hell! Hey, why do you look so glum?

Man: Why do you think I look so glum? I'm in HELL! Isn't it eternal torture?

Satan: Nah, you've got us all wrong. Hell is pretty okay. When you were alive, did you drink?

Man: Yeah, I drank way ...

What kind of pills did Jesus take before Ascension?

Uppers

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