UPJOKE
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I thought about transitioning into a woman

Im not sure i can afford a pay cut at work though

I had a friend who was assigned male at birth, but fully transitioned to female later in life…

I know people will argue about how courageous that was,
But I know that surgery took balls.

My girlfriend and I just transitioned to a long distance relationship

Or as she likes to call it, a "restraining order"

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My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Edit: thanks for all the support and a...

What do you call a Mexican who transitions?

Señor Rita

Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man...

Now they'll have to pay him 20% more...

Why does a well-done trans joke start off dark and turn wholesome?

Because the goal is a good transition.

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My breasts haven’t grown much since I decided to transition

I guess that’s what I get for cutting out all of my trans fat

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I'm hoping for a peaceful transition of power if Trump looses.

Just like Germany did in April 30, 1945.

Sometimes a person is born male, but later transitions to being a woman.

If that person then decides they actually do identify as a man, does that make them a transformer?

What was the codename for the transition from Obama to Trump?

Orange is the new black

Why do Americans still use imperial measurement system where almost the entire world has transitioned to metric?

Not necessarily, they've been using 9mm at schools.

Why don't transphobes like PowerPoint?

Because they're afraid of transitions.

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The Navy decides its time to help its enlisted transition to careers after their experience serving.

They decided to put an Occupational Counselor on every ship, including submarines. The Hephaestus was one of the best submarines in the fleet and their Occupational Counselor was no exception. He was incredible. There was no resume he couldn’t perfect. No college and company he didn’t have contacts ...

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What do you call someone who has made the transition from male to female?

A boner disowner

What do you call a sample of gold that used to be lead?

A transition metal.

After my dad began his transition, I could see right through him

He was Trans-Parent

My business partner "Steve" completed her transition to Stephanie, so we had to re-write our contract...

It's now a trans-specific partnership.

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I always knew my Dad was gay...

But when they said they wanted to transition, I was even less surprised. They were always..... Transparent.

English Language Transition

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-E...

What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?

Republicans want to block their transition

What's an otaku's favorite transition metal?

Manga-nese!

Researchers found a deep-ocean microbe which could explain transition from simple to complex cells

However, it passed away before it even had begun explaining.

Trump: "We cannot let a woman be president!"

Staff: "That's not what transition team means, sir."

What do you call a juice box’s daughter who’s transitioned to a male?

CapriSon.

The baby wasn't very good at transitioning out of breastfeeding

I guess you could say he sucked at tit

Brittan decided that they will started driving on the right side of the road just like the rest of the world.

To eas people into this transition they will start with busses and trucks this week and normal cars next month.

[long] My company is locked down and I am required to work from home

I'm used to working in an open office space so this is a huge change for me. In order to make the transition as easy as possible, I have prepared my home office so remind me of work.

* I've purchased a piece of Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me o...

3 Secret Service agents are on their final day of training

They’re led into a darkened room. The commanding officer has them facing the opposite way of him. He walks up to the first potential agent from behind and speaks to his ear; loudly enough so all 3 can hear, but in a smooth, calculated tone, almost whispering:

“You’ve passed every test up to ...

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I was using Xbox Live.

I found out that I was a homosexual. Also my mom has been having relations with several of the other players. I don’t know how to break all this news to my dad, who is apparently transitioning.

Long- There is this old couple who could no longer care for themselves so they join an assisted living center

At first everything is going fine as they transition to the new lifestyle. When they first had joined the center they were seen as a loving couple as he had his hand on her thigh and she had her hand on his but over time they seemed to drift apart and about a year later he no longer even sat with he...

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Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

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A newly anointed priest is given his first posting.

Father Ben a newly anointed priest is given his first posting of his career. He’s fairly young and very nervous, but seeing his distress, Father Todd the elderly priest he’s replacing was very thoughtful and had prepared some cheat sheets so everything would transition smoothly. Hidden behind the al...

Champ, the much-loved pub mascot.

Ted was the landlord of the Nag's Head pub. Every night, the same guys would turn up, have a few pints of beer, share a conversation and the occasional game of darts or dominoes. At 8pm every night, Ted would receive a visit from one of his other regulars - Champ, a stray dog who always came for a b...

I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it.

Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds.

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Donald Trumps' Inaugration

This came from a U.S. soldier's wife. It says it all:


"I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short months ago ...


At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Donald Trump took his Oa...

Political advice

A politician, Fred, is beaten in an election, and meets with the winner as part of the transition. “Bob, you beat me fair and square; the people have spoken. But in my tenure, I’ve learned a few things I offer to you now”. Fred produces 3 envelopes. “These envelopes are labeled #1, #2 and #3. Ea...

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Three men run into a yeti...

Three men get stranded in Antarctica. While searching for a place to camp out, they run into a yeti. The yeti says "Each of you bring me a fruit or I'll kill you."

The first man comes back with strawberries and the yeti says "Shove them up your ass." He does so and begins crying.

The s...

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