So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week

She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."

I asked her: "What do you think it means?"

She smiled and said: "I don't know..."

Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.

I still don't know w...

Two Fleas meet on a beach in florida

Two fleas are laying on a beach in florida

The first flea who is sunning himself looks to the 2nd and asks

Flea 1- "why are you shivering so bad ?"

Flea 2- "I hitched a ride down here on the mustache of a man who rode a motorcycle and it almost froze me to death"

Flea...

An hour before Joe left for Thanksgiving dinner at his cousins place...

... he is in his office with a cup of coffee and a piece of paper with hole punches in it. A co worker walks in to witness joe VERY CAREFULLY tipping his coffee mug over his paper. One drop of coffee lands to perfectly fill the hole punch in the paper.

“What on earth are you doing that for?”...

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