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Tissues Jokes

What kind of tissues do mathematicians like?

Multi-ply

There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,

"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"

Tissues

There was once a really wealthy lady in Persia. People believed she knew black magic. Curious, the Shah sent over one of his advisors:

Advisor: So how is it that you amassed all this wealth?

Lady: When I was 13 my Uncle gave me a funny looking lamp..

Advisor: ..a magical one?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always have a box of tissues near my computer...

I cum prepared.

I carry tissues around with me so I never get an STD

I always have kleenexes

What do men and women have in common?

Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do 2 tissues do before they have sex?

4-ply

I watched Schindler's List last night and only used a couple of tissues

If it wasn't for that shower scene I wouldn't of needed any

Who is in charge of the tissues?

The Hankie Chief.

It's always good to carry some extra tissues with you...

You never know when you'll come in handy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi.

You can imagine my disappointment.

I just came into a lot of money

Normally I use tissues

French sense of humor

So me (not a German, but was living in Germany those days) and a colleague (who is French and lives in France too) were "on-site" in Austria visiting a customer. After the work day was over we went to a nearby farmer's market just for a stroll. We saw some lovely and cheap lemons there and I wanted ...

Sometimes it's very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.

A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

My girlfriend broke up with me and I’ve been having a tough time getting over her. My friend said I should try having a one night stand, and I gotta say, it really helped!

The tissues are much closer to my bed now when I cry myself to sleep!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new girlfriend just said...

"After an orgasm, I like to kiss and cuddle, then fall asleep in each others arms. What about you?"

I said, "I usually delete my browsing history and throw the tissues away.

A box of tissues is mingling with a roll of toilet paper at a party.

Tissues to toilet paper: “so that’s what I do. It’s so embarrassing. What is it that you do?”

Guess what came in the mail today?

I did. We're out of tissues.

There’s a big difference between a boy or a girl saying

“I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the blonde have square boobs?

Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

I came into some money recently.

Probably should’ve just used it to buy some tissues but whatever.

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