UPJOKE
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Cornea Jokes

An Irish cornea walks into a bar

The bartender asks “Want a Guiness big fella?”
To which the cornea replied “Eye”.

A cornea, a female sheep, a tire and a nerd walk into a haunted house

The cornea bounces in first, making plenty of noise all throughout the house, and leaves terrified and satisfied.

The female sheep prances in next, and terrified bleeting can be heard by all, before she leaves in fear.

The tire rolls in next, making loud, frightened rubbery noises insi...

The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my SO.

I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.

I love bad eyeball jokes

the cornea the better!

I’m sorry, but I like my jokes like...

I’m sorry, but I like my jokes like I like my eye puns...
The cornea, the better.

What do you call a unicorn with no eyes?

Unocornea

I was going to tell a joke about a corn eyeball...

But it just keeps getting cornea and cornea

I was going to post a Dad-joke about eyeballs.

But I think it would be too cornea for you all.

I'd tell a joke about eyes

But nobody likes vitreous humor.

It doesn't get much cornea than this.

An eye-rolling joke

Dad: You know who all I saw today?

Daughter: Who?

Dad: Everybody I looked at

Daughter: Huh?!

Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **

Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again

Dad: Why? Is it too "...

Thought I would never find true love until a beautiful woman stole my heart

And my kidneys, and my corneas, and my lungs.

I told my ophthalmologist father I didn’t want to hear anymore eye jokes.

They just get cornea and cornea...

My optometrist likes to make eye puns

they keep getting cornea and cornea

A man walks into an eye doctor…..

……..he says hello to the doctor, and the doctor says the same. The doctor asks the man if he’d like to hear a joke. The man says yes. “Why does the phone wears glasses?” The doctor asked. The man shakes his head in confusion. The doctor continues, “because he doesn’t have any contacts”. The man frus...

I was gonna make a joke about eyeballs but..

everything I came up with was extremely cornea

Doctor told me I have viral eye infection...

Must be the cornea virus

What do you call a sore eyed joke?

Cornea

Eyes always tell the worst jokes

They're cornea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dapple's Car Accident

Once upon a frosty Canadian winter, there lived a man named Dapple. Dapple was a proud Canuck, born and raised in the heart of the Great White North. He loved the snow, the maple syrup, and of course, ice hockey. But one fateful day, his life took an unexpected turn.


Dapple was driving ...

My optician makes jokes each time I go

They get cornea each time.

I had botched eye surgery recently and now I can't stop making puns...

My jokes are cornea than ever

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.

The other day I went to get my eyes tested.

I am quite an anxious person and thought I would try to crack a joke to break the awkward silence.


'Would you like to hear a joke?' I asked


The optometrist replied 'Sure! The cornea the better.'

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