UPJOKE
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Why did the blonde press her phone against her cornea during calls?

Because the sales person told her it was an *eye phone*

The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my SO.

I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.

A cornea, a female sheep, a tire and a nerd walk into a haunted house

The cornea bounces in first, making plenty of noise all throughout the house, and leaves terrified and satisfied.

The female sheep prances in next, and terrified bleeting can be heard by all, before she leaves in fear.

The tire rolls in next, making loud, frightened rubbery noises insi...

Jokes are like eyeballs.

The cornea the better.

A man walks into an eye doctor…..

……..he says hello to the doctor, and the doctor says the same. The doctor asks the man if he’d like to hear a joke. The man says yes. “Why does the phone wears glasses?” The doctor asked. The man shakes his head in confusion. The doctor continues, “because he doesn’t have any contacts”. The man frus...

An eye-rolling joke

Dad: You know who all I saw today?

Daughter: Who?

Dad: Everybody I looked at

Daughter: Huh?!

Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **

Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again

Dad: Why? Is it too "...

I was going to post a Dad-joke about eyeballs.

But I think it would be too cornea for you all.

I love jokes about eyes.

The cornea the better. Bad puns are how eye roll.

I was going to tell a joke about a corn eyeball...

But it just keeps getting cornea and cornea

I told my ophthalmologist father I didn’t want to hear anymore eye jokes.

They just get cornea and cornea...

Thought I would never find true love until a beautiful woman stole my heart

And my kidneys, and my corneas, and my lungs.

Everyone tells me nose jokes stink...

but I think eye jokes are cornea

I'd tell a joke about eyes

But nobody likes vitreous humor.

It doesn't get much cornea than this.

I was gonna make a joke about eyeballs but..

everything I came up with was extremely cornea

Doctor told me I have viral eye infection...

Must be the cornea virus

What do you call a bad ophthalmology pun?

A cornea joke.

Eyes always tell the worst jokes

They're cornea.

My optometrist likes to make eye puns

they keep getting cornea and cornea

My optician makes jokes each time I go

They get cornea each time.

The other day I went to get my eyes tested.

I am quite an anxious person and thought I would try to crack a joke to break the awkward silence.


'Would you like to hear a joke?' I asked


The optometrist replied 'Sure! The cornea the better.'

I had botched eye surgery recently and now I can't stop making puns...

My jokes are cornea than ever

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.

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