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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge...

‟I should be in charge,” said the brain , ‟Because I run all the body‘s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”


‟I should be in charge,” said the blood , ‟Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you‘d waste away.”


‟I should be in charge,” said the stomach,‟ Bec...

What has 13 hearts but no organs?

A deck of cards.

Where does bitish surgeons keep donor organs?

In Liverpool.

Are male and female reproductive organs similar?

No. There’s a vas deferens.

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I’m planning on donating my organs when I die.

Microbiology students are going to have a fucking blast with my penis.

Fun Fact: If you were to take out all the organs in your body and stretch them out

You'd die.

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You didn't expect a snail joke, but here it is.

**God:** To each of man and woman, I bestow a way to sexually reproduce with distinct organs, the act of which will give them the ability to express love and gain from it the nectar of pure pleasure.

**Angel:** And what about snails?

**God:** Snails can go fuck themselves.

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Man goes to see a doctor about a life-long affliction... (long)

Man (In a raspy, hoarse voice): Doctor, you have to help me, as you can hear, my voice is hoarse and I can barely speak because it hurts too much. It's been like this since I was a teenager. I can't find work, can't talk with friends, or meet a woman. It's ruining my life. Can you help me?
...

If you think you are nothing and worthless, please dont

Your kindeys and your lungs are worth $7000. You can sell me your organs at any time

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Three surgeons are dicussing which types of patients they prefer.

First surgeon says, ''I prefer engineers. When you cut them open, all their organs are so well arranged.''

Second surgeon says, ''I prefer painters. They are so colourful from inside.''

The third one pauses and says, ''I prefer lawyers since they are the easiest to operate on. Not only...

I recently visited a restaurant that only serves internal organs.

It was offal

Why did the fish accept its death after losing its respiratory organs?

Because it lost the gill to live.

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Which organ in your body is in charge?

A long time ago, all the organs in a human body got into an argument, as to who should be in charge of the body, who is the most necessary one.

The brain said "I am obviously the one! I make all the decisions!"
The stomach replied "Well I feed the entire body! That is the most important ...

Stomach finds out all organs are organizing to plot against it.

It turns to bladder and says: urine this?

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All of the organs of the body ...

All of the organs of the body got together to decide who should be their leader. The brain made it's argument first: "I am the center of consciousness and all thought. Clearly, I'm best suited for the job." Then the heart spoke up: "Regardless of how brilliant the thought or idea may be, without hea...

I never knew my grandfather but I just learned he had a purple heart.

It's terrible what alcoholism does to your organs.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no I-deer...

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no reproductive organs?

Still, no fucking, I-deer!

Organs

Sorry you might not have gotten it because it’s an inside joke

“Hi, I’d like to donate my organs”

Nurse: “You’ll have to go to the DMV for tha—“

Me: “No, I’m ready now”

Google announces new usage of an old tool: sending vital organs for surgery via landlines. The organ at the other end will be a working copy of the original, giving an unprecedented supply of life-saving organs to families in need.

They're calling it "The Fax of Life."

I can live without my organs

It's hard, but luckily I still have my grand piano and synthesizer.

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