UPJOKE
tsaremperorbyzantine empirelatin languagemonarchtheodorakingqueenconcubineroman empireempirepopenapoleonenglish languagedowager

Empress Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The empress was stressed.

The empress was stressed. Her servant suggested that maybe she could use a little sexual relief. Agreeing to the plan she sent the servant into the city to fetch her a suitable man. The servant returned with three men.

First man stepped forward. "Beneath me," the empress scoffef.

Secon...

A lady of advanced age required the services of a page-boy ...

... and advertised: "Youth wanted."

One of her dearest friends sent her by the next post a bottle of Blank's celebrated wrinkle filler, a skin tightener, a pot of fairy bloom, a set of false teeth, and a flaxen wig.



Source: "Empress Express" Newspaper, June 20, 1913, Empress, A...

Make your own breakfast

Two youthful artists having a studio in Philadelphia, wherein they not only work but lodge as well, were obliged to make shift, not long ago, during a period of financial stress, with such meals as they could themselves prepare in the studio.

One morning, as the younger of the two was 'sketch...

Valeria Messalina was a powerful Roman empress, best known for her long and influential political career, and for her hobby of hanging out in brothels and prostituting herself.

Makes sense to me. If I had to spend my days with senators and rulers, I'd want to spend my nights with a better class of people, too.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.