UPJOKE
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What do my wife and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both light up my world!

What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both got rich off of Tesla.

Question for Thomas Edison...

What went off in your head before you invented the lightbulb?

Thomas Edison needed Nikolai Tesla, Joseph Swan, James Bowman Lindsay etc to invent the light bulb.

Many hands make light work.

Apparently it took Thomas Edison 1000 attempts to make the lightbulb.

Damn, he would have gone through some dark times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Thomas Edison is busy inventing in his basement, when his wife, Mary, goes to a friend's house to ask for her advice.

"Thomas just won't go down on me", Mary tells her friend.

"I'll let you in on a little secret", the friend replies, "If you want oral sex with Thomas, try coating your privates with something sweet tasting, it works for me!"

When Mary arrives home she checks in the cupboards and finds...

What do you call Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison's band?

AC/DC

When Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb he threw a huge party

It was well lit

Thomas Edison stole the design for a film-playing box from Tesla. Tesla confronted Edison about it, but instead of apologizing he accused Tesla of trying to steal his idea.

Classic case of projection

It took years for Thomas Edison to perfect the light bulb...

But that's because he was working in the dark.

Things mothers said

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"


ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"


ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTH...

In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity.

Once, while vacationing out West, he stopped at the Sioux reservation. Edison was shocked to learn that there was no indoor plumbing, and that he would have to use an outhouse. In fact, he was told, the Sioux had to use the outhouse regardless of the weather.

To help the Sioux, Edison insta...

I had a party for the worlds greatest historical figures, here are their RSVPs

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Marie Curie: "I am radiating enthusiasm."

Ivan Pavlov: "I'm positively drooling at the thought."

Albert Einstein: "It will ...

If Historical figures only had a Jewish Mother...

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER: "After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"


CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."


MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "A ceiling you paint? No...

Son: Dad, does every father know more than his son?

Dad: Of course.

Son: “So, who invented the electric bulb?”

Dad: “Thomas Edison.”

Son: “But why didn't Edison's father invent the electric bulb?”

Dad: “It was dark everywhere, he was busy inventing Edison.”

Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar.

The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison.

The first light bulb joke

Thomas Edison walks into the lab one morning to find his lastest attempt at making a light bulb smashed on the floor. He glares at all the lab assistants, but nobody will look him in the eye or admit who was at fault. Finally he exclaimed "OK, how many of you geniuses did it take to screw up this li...

Famous people and their mothers

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

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