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The pool boy fucked the nanny

So I caught the cold my wife had

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My wife caught me checking out the nanny the other day.

She fired the nanny. Then she told me no more sex for a year!

I said, "You're firing the maid, too?"

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Capitalism and politics explained in the best way possible.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

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I was talking to my wife. (NSFW)

She said to me, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.” 
I replied, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”

A nanny bathes twins

A nanny bathes a set of twins. The twins were marked with numbers, the first born marked with a 1 and the second born marked with a 2. The nanny bathes both the twins and the parents come in and say
“ Where are the numbers?! We can’t tell them apart any more”
The nanny says “ I can tell them...

What do you pay a babysitter?

The Nanny McFee

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Two girls and a boy are playing doctors and nurses behind the shed one day.

The little boy suddenly drops his pants and shows them his penis. One girl screams and runs away, the other rolls her eyes and proudly scoffs, "Pfft, that's nothing. My daddy's got two of those." "What?!" says the boy, "Two?!" "Yeah two," replies the girl, "One for going pee pee and another for clea...

A dying man wants to be honest with his wife

The wife is feeding her husband.

Suddenly the man starts crying and and says:
“There is something I need to tell you”

“What” asked the wife.

“I have been cheating on you with the nanny and the teacher of our children and the lady at the end of the street” says the man
...

Dad, are ghosts real?

Dad: No son, of course not


Son: The nanny said they are


Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny

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What is politics?

After arriving home from school, a young boy brings up his homework assignment to his dad. “Daddy, the teacher said to find out how politics works for class.”

The dad replies, “Politics? Well, let me explain, because politics operates in this house.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. S...

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Husband and wife are talking about finances...

Wife says "Honey, you could ride your bike to work and we could sell the extra car."

Husband says "Yeah, I can see that. Or you can give me blowjobs and let me cum on your face. Then we could get rid of the nanny."

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Marriage counseling

A husband and wife go to a marriage counselor. They tell the counselor that they just can't seem to get things working. Constant fights, etc. etc.

The counselor says, "Sometimes a good way to understand where the issues are is to take turns doing a little role-playing with me here in the offi...

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