The Nanny Jokes - 15 Hilarious The Nanny Jokes

The nanny goat told her mate that she was pregnant.

She was kidding.

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My wife caught me checking out the nanny the other day.

She fired the nanny. Then she told me no more sex for a year!

I said, "You're firing the maid, too?"

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A little boy goes to his dad and asks:

'Dad, what's Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will...

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The pool boy fucked the nanny

So I caught the cold my wife had

What's the difference between an infant and a husband?

None to speak of, but at least the infant can be left alone with the nanny.

A husband and wife who own a circus walk into an adoption agency looking to adopt a child.

"Are you sure the circus is the best place for a child?" asks the social worker. "I mean, all those dangerous animals, the constant traveling..."

"The animals are trained," says the wife. "And we have a state-of-the-art 55-foot motorhome equipped with a large nursery."

"How will you ed...

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What are Politics?

A young boy asks his father what politics are at the dinner table. His father responds with, "Well look at it this way son, I'm the president since I run the household. Your mother is the government since she pays the bills, the nanny is the working class since she works for me, and you and your lit...

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I was talking to my wife. (NSFW)

She said to me, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.”
I replied, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”

A nanny bathes twins

A nanny bathes a set of twins. The twins were marked with numbers, the first born marked with a 1 and the second born marked with a 2. The nanny bathes both the twins and the parents come in and say
“ Where are the numbers?! We can’t tell them apart any more”
The nanny says “ I can tell them...

Dad, are ghosts real?

Dad: No son, of course not

Son: The nanny said they are

Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny

What do you pay a babysitter?

The Nanny McFee

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What is politics?

After arriving home from school, a young boy brings up his homework assignment to his dad. “Daddy, the teacher said to find out how politics works for class.”

The dad replies, “Politics? Well, let me explain, because politics operates in this house.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. S...

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Husband and wife are talking about finances...

Wife says "Honey, you could ride your bike to work and we could sell the extra car."

Husband says "Yeah, I can see that. Or you can give me blowjobs and let me cum on your face. Then we could get rid of the nanny."

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Two girls and a boy are playing doctors and nurses behind the shed one day.

The little boy suddenly drops his pants and shows them his penis. One girl screams and runs away, the other rolls her eyes and proudly scoffs, "Pfft, that's nothing. My daddy's got two of those." "What?!" says the boy, "Two?!" "Yeah two," replies the girl, "One for going pee pee and another for clea...

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Marriage counseling

A husband and wife go to a marriage counselor. They tell the counselor that they just can't seem to get things working. Constant fights, etc. etc.

The counselor says, "Sometimes a good way to understand where the issues are is to take turns doing a little role-playing with me here in the offi...

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