Trump said global warming was a hoax and he could easily make temperatures "the lowest ever recorded" this summer.

So he switched the US to Celsius.

Only SEVEN people die as temperatures as low as -42F wreak havoc across the American Midwest.

Apparently guns don't work in those temperatures.

What do R. Kelly and current temperatures have in common?

They're both in the teens.

My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....

I’ve never heard him complain

When does an increase in degrees not lead to warmer temperatures?

When you get your Masters in Art History, but you still can't pay the heating bill

Did you hear about the guy who lived in absolute zero temperatures?

He’s 0K now!

Why don't Jedi measure temperatures in Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures.

451 degrees Fahrenheit.

Request from a worried P*nis

I, the P\*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:



1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. In fact holidays and weekends are when I to...

Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F?

Because we're all a little obtuse.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.