Tsunami: The T is silent

Honest: The H is silent

Island: The S is silent

Queue: The ueue is silent

My Jokes: Everyone is silent

Dying in a tsunami isn't so bad...

At least the earth gives you a wave goodbye.

A blind man got hit by a tsunami

He didn’t sea it coming

Communists must love Tsunamis.

They take the homes of the wealthy and give poor people access to the beachfront.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do Japanese people do when there's a tsunami?

They Japanic.

Why did Obi-Wan survive the tsunami?

Because he had the high ground.

Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed...

...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After the tsunamis in Japan a while back, my Japanese girlfriend dumped me.

It's okay though, there were plenty more in the sea.

What’s the opposite of a Microwave?

A Tsunami.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the tsunami say to Japan? ..

... nothing, it waved.


Happy Thursday all.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

No Sex Tonight!

I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example…One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Wel...

Words in a dictionary were having a fight

'Honest' says, "My H is silent". 'Tsunami' says, "My T is silent". 'Island' says, "My S is silent".
'Queue' says, "Hold my beer stupids".

Three men are sentenced to death.

Each of the three prisoners were brought up one at a time in front of the firing squad.

The first man was up and the captain began to shout " ready... aim...." and the prisoner yelled "Tornado!!!". Everyone ran for cover and the first prisoner got away.

The second man was brought for...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner and Kevin Spacey walk into a bar...

Except the bar is actually Peyton Manning on all fours spreading his asshole wide open. Harvey and Brett don't appreciate the "prank" as much as Kevin does so they call their buddy Jeremy Piven to pick them up. The three head to an open-bathrobe party at Ben Affleck's house

Meanwhile, Kevin i...

3 criminals are about to be executed by a firing squad...

The first criminal is brought out. The captain yells "Arm!" then "Aim!" The criminal thinks quickly and shouts "Tsunami!" Being near a tsunami-prone area, the captain and his men look around. The criminal escapes.

The second criminal is then brought out. The captain orders his men the same as...

A dolphin goes into the bar.

The barman says, 'Well, that was a bloody big tsunami!'

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Chuck Norris facts.

-In the average living room, there are 1,385 items Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
-Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he takes a piss.
-When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.
-If you rearrang...

Three guys are lined up to be executed by handgun.

The executioner ask the first one, "Any last words?"

"Tornado!" He exclaims, pointing behind the executioner, who turns around in terror. While the executioner is distracted, he runs away.

So the executioner moves on the the next guy. "Any last words?"

"Tsunami!" He yelled, poin...

Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.

Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask "what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!" To which Castro responds, "in your country/...

Public toilet problems

A guy with severe diarrhea runs into a public toilet in dire hope of relief. After hearing only "Taken" and "In a minute" from the stalls, he blindly kicks the last stall door open, turns around, pulls his pants down and unleashes the tides within and the brown tsunami stains the walls. After the q...

End of the world

Scientists predict the end of the world, they say that there will be a huge tsunami on earth in 2 weeks. So presidents of all nations are now on tv to speak about it. It starts with Barrack Obama: " My fellow americans, you have now 15 days to spend all of your dollars, so just buy some stuff and en...

A blonde , brunette, and a readhead.

Are going on a road trip when they accidentally trespass into a secret military base and the punishment is viable by shooting. So they bring the readhead and make her stand against the wall . The captain exclaims .
"Ready ! Aim "
the read head than turns around and says.
" Tsunami!" and a...

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