You shouldn't be superstitious about Friday the 13th

It brings bad luck.

two superstitious blondes are talking to each other

One of them says: "I heard that this year, the New Year's Eve will be on Friday."
The other replies: "Oh! I hope it won't be 13th!"

What is a superstitious monsters favorite daily read?

Its horrorscope

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superstitious Golfer

The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactl...

I've never been a superstitious man, but...

Last night, in my dream, I saw before my eyes a giant number '7'. I woke up at 7:00 am that morning, but that didn't phase me, that's when I always wake up. After going through my routine I notice that I'm 7 minutes ahead of schedule. Peculiar, but hardly supernatural. I hopped in my car and noticed...

How many superstitious people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they light a candle because they're stuck in the dark ages.

Wisdom of ages

Johnny is cutting his nails when his grandpa stops by, and comments that he should not be cutting nails on a Thursday. Knowing that grandpa is the superstitious kind, Johnny ignores him and carries on.

A few weeks later grandpa visits again, and guess what - it is Thursday, and he catches Jo...

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains

She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

How do we know Roy Moore is superstitious?

He doesn't hit on 13 year olds.

Those black cats better not cross my path. I'm not superstitious.

Just racist.

Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back,

"This is no time to be superstitious."

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Your life pursuit

Long ago in a distant land an explorer and his large team of bearers, trackers, hunters, cooks, handymen, translators and so on came upon a village of people never before known to the outside world.

Luckily the translators were able to communicate with the people and soon the explorer was tal...

A woman was in bed with her lover

When she heard her husband opening the front door “Quick! jump out the window”

"What?! the guy says, “we’re on the 13th floor!”

Her: “ just jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”

A middle aged man was walking home one friday .

Instead of taking his company bus he decided to walk up the mountain road ,see the beautiful sunset and take a train on the other side. His time calculation went wrong and it became dark ,he was still on the inclined mountain road .While walking hurriedly he noticed shadow of a man standing near a d...

In one Intensive care unit

people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less super...

One day, workers at a hospital noticed something very peculiar.

Everyday Tuesday, at approximately 11:24 pm, whichever patient was lying in bed 3 in room 152 would inexplicably die, no matter what condition they were in. This phenomenon went on for sometime, baffling scientists and doctors all over the world and starting many conspiracy theories centered on the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was having sex with this girl..

When suddenly she asks me: "Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"

So I replied: "Not really, I've never been superstitious"

Country Club Raffle

Every evening an older gentlemen would venture down to the local country club. This club had a large room in which there were several comfortable chairs, as well as a billiards table. The gentleman would enter the club, buy a cheap drink, sit in the same chair and read from his newspaper.

The...

A western guy gets a job polishing statues in a natural history museum in India

Before he starts working, some locals warn him of the last man who did this job. "Ve should inform you that the insect exhibit is cursed and the poor man's kid vound up dead after he vas seen cleaning here."

The guy says to them, "sounds like a bunch of superstitious nonsense!" and proceeds t...

It's Friday 13th...

Thank my lucky stars that I'm not superstitious

Three old ladies talking...

... one of them says: “I'm starting to have a bad memory. Yesterday i forgot if i already had lunch, so i did it again anyway”. The second one complements: “Me too. I was awake for about 10 minutes, forgot if i had sleep, and slept again anyway”. The third one, trying to hide her memory problems, s...

True story from Brimfield Ohio; Brimfield Police Department Conversations with a meth cook....

Suspect: "I didn't mean to make meth."

Chief: "You didn't mean to make it?"

Suspect: "No. I was just trying to make smoke."

Chief: {Dumb look}

Suspect: "I was trying to scare the Mexicans. They're superstitious."

Chief: "Okay....You were trying to scare someon...

Silly superstition

A reporter was on a business trip in Bangkok, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar.

After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed.

"Say, how old are you anyway," the man asked, as the obvi...

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