Old woman on her deathbed

An old woman lays dying in the hospital after a long illness as her husband sits beside her. She says, "Darling, I want you to go home and look in my closet and pull down the box on the top shelf. I've been keeping a secret all these years."

The man goes home, pulls down the box and finds tha...

Don't joke about the war...

I told my friend that my grandfather died in the war.
He said "I am sorry to hear. How did he die?"

I said "One night there was a drunken party, and he fell off a guard tower!"

An old man sitting behind us interrupted. "You shouldn't joke about these things. It's offensive. My fathe...

I saw people collecting for Parkinson's and they were shaking tins which I thought was insensitive.

-Gary Delaney-

My wife always complains I’m insensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

She said, “What the hell are these?”

I replied, “It’s the little things that count.”

A Native American told me my impressions of his people were culturally insensitive

I said:
“How”

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Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

A Husband and Wife were messaging each other.

Husband: You are negative

Wife: And you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. I’m the only one that has to put up with such a miserly...

I made an insensitive Asian joke...

And they won't Reddit go.

Is it insensitive...

For a mother to say "here comes the airplane" when feeding her two twins.

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes?

Sweet Pee

A man walks into a bar and orders 8 shots of vodka

The bartender lines up the shot glasses and starts pouring them out, and as soon as one's filled the man slams it down.

"Woah take it easy there buddy, we're open all night", says the bartender

"You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I've got"

"Ah I'm sorry to hear that...

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Whats the most insensitive spot on a man's penis?

The man


I really need a counter joke for that one

My wife just found out she's adopted.

She was devastated and kept asking me "Why didn't they want me?" I comforted her and after a while, still crying, she asked to make love with her, which led to more tears.

On reflection, banging her from behind and shouting, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY", was little insensitive.

I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous

For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?

Her: He says no to condoms because he can't feel anything through them.

Me: What an insensitive prick!

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, an...

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

My favorite Clean Joke

A small-town parish priest realizes that he is getting too old to ring the bell in the tower and advertises for a bell ringer. A few days later there's a knock at the door and the priest answers only to discover a man standing there with no arms. "Can I help you?" the priest asks, to which the man ...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought ab...

My girlfriend and I had to leave the restaurant early today due to insensitive people calling me a nonce and peadophile all because I'm 33 and my missus is 16.

It totally ruined our 10yr anniversary.

A man says to his doctor... (Barry Cryer's wife's favourite joke)

A man says to his doctor "I think my wife is going deaf, but I don't want to mention it as it'll be tactless and insensitive. Is there any way I can gauge it, preferably without her knowing?"

The doctor replies "There is, it's quite easy, choose a moment when she has her back to you, say som...

Bikers were riding west on when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge.

They stopped and George, the leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit ...

I brought some cookie dough into work today...

...so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

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Hitlers suicide

A man is sitting next to his jewish wife and decided to tell a joke:

Man: why did Hitler kill himself?

Woman: I don't know. Why did he?

Man: He saw the gas bill!

Woman: agh that is so insensitive.

Man: I know...My grand father died in the Holocaust.

Woman: a...

So yesterday I told my wife that she would look better if her hair was blonde

Apparently that’s an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient

Johnny is looking after the cat while Mom and Dad are on vacation

After being away a few days, Mom calls Johnny to check in :

Mom: "Hi Johnny, how's the cat?"

Johnny: "I'm really sorry Mom, but she died."

She was very upset and angry at this news and she said to Johnny:

"That's a horrible way of breaking such news! Why couldn't you have...

Two best friends apart

This joke about two very good friends who grew up together. Tom and Jim. Tom decides to go out of the country for work, and asks his best friend Jim to look after his mother and his cat. Jim promises that he will, and that he will write to Tom to keep in touch.

While working overseas Tom get...

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In the hospital

After the accident I called my wife from the hospital.

Wife: "Hello?"

Me: "Honey, I was in an accident. I’m in insensitive care."

Wife: "Don’t you mean intensive care?"

Just then the nurse walked into my room. “What are you complaining about now, ya crybaby bitch?”

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Why do men die first?

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
...

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Is this joke racist?

Dear redditors of reddit,
could you let me know in the comments if the following joke is racist/culturally insensitive?
It seems to be quite old and I like it, just would be grateful for your opinion, thanks.

According to recent reports the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of impr...

John and Sam were brothers.

Neither were married. John lived with their mother and Sam lived with his beloved cat.

One day, Sam learned that he had to go out of town for business. Not wanting to leave Fluffy alone for two weeks, he asked John to watch her. John agreed, and Sam brought her over a few days later.
...

The man and the cat

A man's wife leaves for a week to visit friends across country. She leaves him food for the week and instructs him to keep the house clean and feed the cat. After 3 days away, the woman calls and asks him how everything is going.

Wife: How is everything?

Husband: Pretty good but th...

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My friend is blind and ignorant to the pain so many people suffer of having burning shits after eating spicy food.

What an insensitive asshole.

I told my gf she'd look hotter with her hair back.

Apparently, that is an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

I don't know why she's so upset, I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend.

She has her whole life to get her hair back, I only have 153 days until Valentine's Day.

(Combined 2 jokes I heard plus added the...

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My wife is paralysed from the waist down

Insensitive cunt.

Went to the doctor's office for my flu shot. He promised it wouldn't hurt...

Insensitive prick.

I was never vaccinated, and the jokes poking fun at anti-vaxxers need to stop

My parents are strongly anti vaccination, and I have never gotten a vaccine, and some of the jokes here are really insensitive to people like me.

Just bec

Two brothers lived together

with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. "I made it safe and sound" he said. "How is everything?"

"Bad" said the second brother. "The cat is dead."
...

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