UPJOKE
sensitivityunresponsivecallousdeadnumbsoullessunaffecteddullthick-skinnedhardrudeunsympatheticdemeaningdisrespectfulindifferent

What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who’s also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?

A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

Did you hear that Texas realtors are removing the term "Master Bedroom" from listings because it's now insensitive? Pretty exciting.

In fact, I'm so excited, I think I'll probably head to my regular bedroom now, and Equalhumanbate!

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

The man sat and thought about it f...

Is it insensitive...

For a mother to say "here comes the airplane" when feeding her two twins.

A warehouse manager was sent to HR for disciplinary action, but he swore he was innocent

"I ain't done nothing! They after me for 'cultural insensitivity,' and I haven't done nothing!"

The HR lady frowned. "Multiple witnesses overheard your insensitive words, but please explain your side of the story."

"In the warehouse forklift drivers are assigned to use the outward lane...

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So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back.

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

I made an insensitive Asian joke...

And they won't Reddit go.

It's appalling that despite advances in Science, the constant media circus has made us insensitive to the fact that every minute...

Sixty seconds pass away

What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes?

Sweet Pee

A Native American told me my impressions of his people were culturally insensitive

I said:
“How”

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Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

My wife found out she's adopted.

She was devastated and kept
asking, "Why didn't they want
me?" I comforted her and after a
while, still crying, she asked me
to make love to her... which led
to more tears.

Upon reflection, banging her
from behind and shouting,
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" was a
little insensit...

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Whats the most insensitive spot on a man's penis?

The man


I really need a counter joke for that one

Christmas elves

An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, an...

A man walks into a bar and orders 8 shots of vodka

The bartender lines up the shot glasses and starts pouring them out, and as soon as one's filled the man slams it down.

"Woah take it easy there buddy, we're open all night", says the bartender

"You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I've got"

"Ah I'm sorry to hear that...

My wife always complains I’m insensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

She said, “What the hell are these?”

I replied, “It’s the little things that count.”

I saw people collecting for Parkinson's and they were shaking tins which I thought was insensitive.

-Gary Delaney-

My girlfriend and I had to leave the restaurant early today due to insensitive people calling me a nonce and peadophile all because I'm 33 and my missus is 16.

It totally ruined our 10yr anniversary.

Don't joke about the war...

I told my friend that my grandfather died in the war.
He said "I am sorry to hear. How did he die?"

I said "One night there was a drunken party, and he fell off a guard tower!"

An old man sitting behind us interrupted. "You shouldn't joke about these things. It's offensive. My fathe...

Old woman on her deathbed

An old woman lays dying in the hospital after a long illness as her husband sits beside her. She says, "Darling, I want you to go home and look in my closet and pull down the box on the top shelf. I've been keeping a secret all these years."

The man goes home, pulls down the box and finds tha...

A man says to his doctor... (Barry Cryer's wife's favourite joke)

A man says to his doctor "I think my wife is going deaf, but I don't want to mention it as it'll be tactless and insensitive. Is there any way I can gauge it, preferably without her knowing?"

The doctor replies "There is, it's quite easy, choose a moment when she has her back to you, say som...

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Is this joke racist?

Dear redditors of reddit,
could you let me know in the comments if the following joke is racist/culturally insensitive?
It seems to be quite old and I like it, just would be grateful for your opinion, thanks.

According to recent reports the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of impr...

I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous

For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?

A Husband and Wife were messaging each other.

Husband: You are negative

Wife: And you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. I’m the only one that has to put up with such a miserly...

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

I brought some cookie dough into work today...

...so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

My favorite Clean Joke

A small-town parish priest realizes that he is getting too old to ring the bell in the tower and advertises for a bell ringer. A few days later there's a knock at the door and the priest answers only to discover a man standing there with no arms. "Can I help you?" the priest asks, to which the man ...

Two best friends apart

This joke about two very good friends who grew up together. Tom and Jim. Tom decides to go out of the country for work, and asks his best friend Jim to look after his mother and his cat. Jim promises that he will, and that he will write to Tom to keep in touch.

While working overseas Tom get...

Bikers were riding west on when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge.

They stopped and George, the leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit ...

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Hitlers suicide

A man is sitting next to his jewish wife and decided to tell a joke:

Man: why did Hitler kill himself?

Woman: I don't know. Why did he?

Man: He saw the gas bill!

Woman: agh that is so insensitive.

Man: I know...My grand father died in the Holocaust.

Woman: a...

Her: He says no to condoms because he can't feel anything through them.

Me: What an insensitive prick!

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In the hospital

After the accident I called my wife from the hospital.

Wife: "Hello?"

Me: "Honey, I was in an accident. I’m in insensitive care."

Wife: "Don’t you mean intensive care?"

Just then the nurse walked into my room. “What are you complaining about now, ya crybaby bitch?”

I told my gf she'd look hotter with her hair back.

Apparently, that is an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

I don't know why she's so upset, I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend.

She has her whole life to get her hair back, I only have 153 days until Valentine's Day.

(Combined 2 jokes I heard plus added the...

Johnny is looking after the cat while Mom and Dad are on vacation

After being away a few days, Mom calls Johnny to check in :

Mom: "Hi Johnny, how's the cat?"

Johnny: "I'm really sorry Mom, but she died."

She was very upset and angry at this news and she said to Johnny:

"That's a horrible way of breaking such news! Why couldn't you have...

John and Sam were brothers.

Neither were married. John lived with their mother and Sam lived with his beloved cat.

One day, Sam learned that he had to go out of town for business. Not wanting to leave Fluffy alone for two weeks, he asked John to watch her. John agreed, and Sam brought her over a few days later.
...

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My friend is blind and ignorant to the pain so many people suffer of having burning shits after eating spicy food.

What an insensitive asshole.

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My wife is paralysed from the waist down

Insensitive cunt.

Went to the doctor's office for my flu shot. He promised it wouldn't hurt...

Insensitive prick.

Two brothers lived together

with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. "I made it safe and sound" he said. "How is everything?"

"Bad" said the second brother. "The cat is dead."
...

The man and the cat

A man's wife leaves for a week to visit friends across country. She leaves him food for the week and instructs him to keep the house clean and feed the cat. After 3 days away, the woman calls and asks him how everything is going.

Wife: How is everything?

Husband: Pretty good but th...

There was this joke about these blind and deaf people...

But if I told it it'd be insensitive

Did you hear the one about those kids in China?

I'd tell it to you but it's a bit insensitive to tell jokes about youth in Asia.

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