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Sunday Newspaper Jokes

A man was relaxing, reading his Sunday newspaper...

There was a knock on the door, he begrudgingly got up to answer. There was no one there. He looked around, and just as he was about to go back in, a voice said "hi, how are you doing today?"
He angrily stared down at a Snail, who was smiling up at him. He picked up the Snail and gave it a hefty ...

A guy is sitting quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he shouts.

His wife says, "I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name "Marylou on it. Who the hell is she?"

The guy says, "Oh, don't worry about that dear. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night

He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time.

When he returned, the drunk remarked, "It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday."

"There was no trouble with the whiskey," replied the bellb...

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