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Stockholm Jokes

I’m reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome

I didn’t like it at first, but it’s growing on me.

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A man from stockholm decieds to move away from the grinde of the big city and buys a house in northern sweden out in the middel of nowhere

After having bougth his house and get settled a local comes to his house and greats him
"Hi! im your closest neighbour and i wanna invite you to a welcoming party!"
The stockholmer is pleasnetly supprised and agrees
"Alrigth! ill see you tomorrow! but just so you know thiere is gonna ...

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Stockholm Syndrome

My wife and I have a great marriage and a healthy sex life, even after all these years. And I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at sex. But I do have low self esteem, so sometimes I wonder if I’m doing a good job, or if her vagina has Stockholm Syndrome.

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

It was pretty bad at first, but by the end, I liked it.

I visited Stockholm

At first the place depressed me and I wanted to leave. Now, I love the place so much and want to stay forever.

I watched a movie about Stockholm Syndrome

It captured me even though i didnt like it at first, but by the end i absolutely loved it

Reckless Farting is unlawful in Stockholm…

Which is why I always exercise good pedal control.

I took a trip to Stockholm and really didn't like it.

After a few days though, it really grew on me.

I got dragged off to Stockholm once and I hated it.

As time went by, though, I really grew fond of the place.

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A resident of Stockholm goes to the countryside to hunt ducks.

When he sees a duck, he takes aim and shoots. But the bird falls on a farmer's farm, and he won't hand over the prey. "That's my bird," the townsman insists on his right. The farmer suggests settling the dispute with a kick in the abdomen, as is customary in the countryside. "Whoever yells less gets...

A joke about my parents marriage

My Dad: "I might be stupid but you love me"

My Mom: "Yeah well after almost thirty years together, you kinda start to feel a certain way"

Me: "Yeah, it's called Stockholm syndrome"

How was your trip to Stockholm?

Captivating

I just finished reading a book on Stockholm syndrome

I didn't care for it much at first, but after a while i could 't put it down.

What do you call a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome?

A Dog.

My eyes are in New York. My brain is in Stockholm. My heart is in Paris. What am I?

Dead.

I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome.

Any takers?

What do you call an immigrant living in Stockholm?

Artificial Swedener.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

A suspected terror attack occurred last night in Stockholm (Sweden) involving a deranged avian described by eye-witnesses as a chicken. It has been reported that it was merely attempting to get to the other side.

My friend refuses to leave Sweden. She said Sweden is actually nice and deserves sympathy.

I think she's developed Stockholm Syndrome

Why do Swedish people love their country?

Because they have Stockholm syndrome

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Long

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest about it. So they decided that the next time the professor starts one of these jokes , they will all leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture he said; In Sweden a prostitute mak...

Two Swedes and two Norwegians are traveling...

Two Swedes and two Norwegians are traveling by train from Stockholm to Oslo. The Swedes only buys one ticket, but the Norwegians buys two. On the train, the Swedes locks themselves in the toilet. When the conductor goes by, he knocks on the door, asking for the ticket. They slip the ticket under the...

How does Bill become Law?

Stockholm Syndrome......

When you transgress the laws of men, you go to jail.

When you transgress the laws of God, you go to hell.

When you transgress the laws of physics, you go to Stockholm to receive a Nobel price.

I just got fired from my job at IKEA

My manager caught me taking some of the Stockholm

Breaking news

This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that num...

Here are some few movie jokes:

The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.

• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.

• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.

• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.

• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes...

People in Sweden keep telling me how great it is living there...

But I think it's just Stockholm Syndrome.

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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

Catholics will get it :-)

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages,
claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
in a wheelchair. Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking,...

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

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