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Feud Jokes

The feud between the two clothing stores down the street finally came to an end.



It ended in a tie.

Chuck Norris went on Family Feud once...

He played the game by himself because no families want to start a feud with him

I expect the Musk-Twitter feud to take a really long time to resolve

I mean, one should expect Elon-gate to drag out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I'm ever on Family Feud

I'm going to make one of my answer "Your butthole." That way I can hear the host yell out, "Show me your butthole!"

What do you call a feud between two of Genghis Khan’s generals?

Mongolian beef

In a very poor village in Vietnam, farmers had a feud because of a cow eating off the wrong rice paddy.

One farmer got so upset he hired the local hitman to off the cow. The village was so poor the hitman had no guns, so killed the cow by bashing it with a porcelain figure.

Police said it was the first case they ever saw of a Knick Knack Paddy Whack.

As the YouTube makeup influencers feuded with each other i couldn't help but wonder...

Had their relationship been built using a bad *foundation?*

A man and his wife were watching Family Feud...

When this question came up:

"What age do women stop looking for Mr.Perfect and settle for Mr.Okay?"

"25!" his wife shouted.

"What, that's crazy!" the man argued.

"Well that's when I married you."

Once a feud broke out between boys and girls...

..in a college. To take revenge the boys posted on the notice board- 50 percent of the girls are stupid.
The girls got infuriated, and demanded justice. Its only when the college administration pressurized the boys to change what they have written on the notice board, the situation was brought u...

Family Feud must be a really hard show to work on

Steve Harvey is always asking for cervezas.

Two Indian restaurants across the street from each other were involved in a feud

The feud had gone on a long time and was pretty extensive. There were pricing wars, sabotage, recruiting chefs from each others restaurants, stealing recipes... The restaurant on the right side of the street was starting to gain an advantage as they were being recognized for their delicious tandoo...

Where do people go to argue in the mall?

They don't. No one goes to malls anymore, but they used to go to the Feud Court.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Courts say to each other while sexting?

Send Feuds.

Big

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across...

A church got a new pastor, who the music minister immediately disliked. Eventually, their conflict spilled out into the Sunday services.

The first week, the pastor preached about commitment and how we should dedicate our lives to serving one another. The music minister led the song "I Shall Not Be Moved."

The second week, the pastor preached about tithing and how important it was for the congregation to contributed to the chu...

What would a farmer's wife accuse him of caring more about than her?

His hoe

Source: Old Family Feud episode

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two dads, Philip and Mike, fight every day about their respective sons’ physical growth.

Both of the kids go to the same kindergarten. As Philip and Mike watch on as they go in, Mike tells Philip, “Y’know buddy, my son is currently 4 foot. He’ll grow up to be an actor!”

Philip replies, “We’ll see about that, my son is 4 foot one. And your son will never get popular if he’s short,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frustrated middle eastern man is walking along the beach... (NSFW)

When suddenly he stubs his toe on something in the sand. He reaches down under the sand and discovers a golden lamp. He picks it up and excitedly brushes it off when suddenly a enormous genie appears.

"I am the Genie of the Lamp and I shall grant you one wish, if it is within my power."
...

Supermarket franchise moves into small town

A big, nationwide operating grocery franchise opened a store in a small, rural town in the midwest. Since there was only a local farmers store across the street, the manager decided to bankrupt the local store and monopolize on the town. So he approached potential customers at the door of the local...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two veterinarians are walking through the woods...

Two veterinarians are walking through the woods. The first vet states that he is the best vet in the world, and the second vet disagrees. The argument goes on for about 5 minutes when they stop at an old oak tree with an owl sitting on a branch.

The first vet says, "To prove it, I bet I can p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men arguing

There was two men one named bill , the other clarence . they lived on opposite sides of a river . Neither of the men could swim , and each day they would stand on opposite sides of the river cursing at each other . Bill would always say if I could swim I would come over there an kick your butt . Thi...

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