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What do you call a masturbating bull?

Beef stroganoff

A man is concerned about his wife's hearing

So he goes to the doctor. The doctor says, “Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you.”

The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Nothing. He gets halfwa...

You’re not allowed to use ‘beef-stew’ as a password.

It’s not stroganoff.

Man, making a password is so frustrating

I put in "beefstew" and the computer said it was not stroganoff.

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I told my 16 year old son could invite his friends to have dinner with us.

He went down to the basement and I heard him say “Hey guys, wanna stay for dinner, we’re eating a masterbating cow!”

So I yelled down “Don’t be an ass! It’s Beef stroganoff”

I got this new recipe app. I am having issues with the security.

I want my password to be BeefStew, but the app keeps telling me it’s not stroganoff.

Tried to sign up to a website the other day...

I put my password as "beef stew"

It said password not stroganoff.

A homeless man decides to rob a Russian restaurant.

Since it was so early, the only one that was working at that time was the scrawny waitor as the chef/boss had gone to run a quick errand. The homeless man, only waving his fists, threatened the waitor to give him his best food or "he would be in a world of hurt". Even though the waitor was as skinny...

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What is a chronic masturbator’s favorite food?


Internet security tip - don’t use ‘beefstew’ as a password

It’s not stroganoff.

NOTE: Not my joke but from work

Why did the Hamburger Helper get fired from the restaurant?

Because he was Stroganoff on the job!

Why is it a good idea to ask a cow to help you move?

Because beef stroganoff

Why should you always knock before entering the Hamburger Helper Mascot’s room?

He might beef stroganoff.

My mom won't let me eat while using her laptop anymore...

Because when she caught me stroganoff I dropped my pennes on the keyboard.

Why did the tomato turn red?

It saw the beef stroganoff.

I make weak food puns

They're never stroganoff.

A German man was hitting on my sister-in-law...

I told her "He wants to put his wiener in your schnitzel."

She replied "Not happening, I guess he'll be stroganoff."

Why didn't the chef finish his stew?

Cause he was too busy stroganoff!

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Cow jokes

**What do you call a three legged cow?**
*Tri tip*

**What do you call a cow with no legs?**
*Ground beef*

**What do you call a masturbating cow?**
*Beef Stroganoff*

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A few I picked up...


A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "five drinks please"

What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.


What do dentists call their X-rays?



Why did the meatball chef get fired from the middle school cafeteria?

They caught him stroganoff.

What's Pee-wee Herman's favorite entree?


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