I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it.

So wake me up when it’s all over

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Torontonians die in a car accident.

Two Torontonians die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.
The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his t...

Sperm banks are like torrents

They both want your seed

Went to visit my farmer friend and noticed a three-legged pig in the barnyard...

When I asked him what happened he said, “A couple of years ago, we had a fire in the cellar and that pig went to squealing and screaming and raising holy hell to wake us all up in time. Saved all our lives.

“Then, last summer, that pig saw a rattlesnake was sneaking up on little Timmy as he w...

If my friends and I torrent in Jamaica

Does that make us Pirates of the Caribbean?

DVDs died beacuse of Torrents. Hence,

DVD Rip.

So, John received a parrot, as a gift.

Now this parrot was the rudest, noisiest, most foul mouthed parrot you can imagine. Every other word out of this parrot's beak was profanity, and strings of filthy insults - absolutely appalling behaviour!

Well, over the course of the next week, John tried speaking to it softy and calmly, pl...

What do you call a cat that torrents movies?

A copy cat.

Minions.3D.BluRayRiP.4K.aXX0.torrent

Talk like a pirate day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plumber is called to a house with nobody home

When he arrived there was a note that read "sorry we can't be home but here's a key to let yourself in. Beware of Spike the dog, and whatever you do, DO NOT talk to the parrot"

The guy walks into the house and sees a big doberman, but it seems calm so he goes about his business.

While ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Piracy is like diarrhea...

Sometimes you just torrent that shit

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

Why a man doesn't drink milk

A man was out in his garden one day, an activity he enjoys daily. He likes growing different plants like flowers and vegetables, and he's gotten very good at it. He recently learned that ants can aerate and help water travel through the soil, so he had recently placed a few colonies of ants througho...

I didn't get this joke ? please help

A young man is sentenced to fifteen years
in prison. The warden
takes a liking to him and puts him in a cell
with a kindly oldtimer
so that he can be shown the ropes and not
get himself in trouble.

So the oldtimer teachs the youngster the
rules of the prison, what
to do, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Parrot discipline

One day a woman decided to get a parrot. She was in luck, because the pet store had a previously owned one very cheap, but when she got it home she found out why: its previous owner had been a sailor, and the parrot's language was awful. Whatever she tried, it just kept squawking "Fuck off, bitch!" ...

Why are pirates never scared of a storm?

Because they love torrents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmers and their Pig

Old, long winded, and immature. But, I always laugh at it

Three farmers had been competing at the state fair for several years now for the biggest pig contest. Each year though all three farmers would lose to a pig from another county. So, Farmer John calls farmer Brown and Farmer Dan over to...

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