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Stock Trader Jokes

What do Russian stock traders and Military vehicles have in common

They stopped working

Why was the stock trader electrocuted?

He shorted Tesla

World's greatest stock trader retires

Jack Thompson was the most famous stock trader on Wall Street. His funds had made money, in good markets and bad, for decades. Finally ready to retire, he was going to reveal his secrets in an exclusive interview. "What are your tricks?" Asked the reporter. "I've got only one secret. Years ago I not...

What do you call it when stock traders take over your home?

An investation

A recently fired stock trader said:

"This is worse than a divorce, I have lost everything and I still have my wife!" 😩

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are stock traders so good at sex?

Same principal, you gotta pull out at the right moment or it costs you.

I used to be a stock trader when I was a fetus, until my mother was arrested.

For inside her trading.

A Rich Wall Street trader visits a village

During his stay, he sees a young man sleeping everyday and doing nothing outside his house. So he decides to persuade him to change his life and goes on to talk to him.

Trader: Hello young man, looks like you have nothing to do. I suggest you come with me to New York.

Man: What happ...

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