UPJOKE
hurtprickbitepainburntwingesting operationachepangsmartconbunkostickhustlebunco

Wife: "I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it!"

Husband: [peeing on jellyfish] "This is for stinging my wife."

What did God do when yellow jackets started stinging the other animals?

Plan Bee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Arab boy is speaking with his father.

“Father, why do we wear these shawls on our head?”

“To keep the harsh sun off our scalp” He answers.

“What about these long robes father?”

“To protect us from the blistering wind that carries stinging sand.” Father says patiently.

“And our sandals?”

“To shield our ...

Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds.

It has beegun.

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.

Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

A woman on holiday was stung by a jellyfish...

She yells to her husband and says "I was stung by a jellyfish, you need to pee on it."

The husband runs over to the jellyfish and pees on it saying "that's for stinging my wife."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke from the 1800s

" While passing a house on the road, two Virginia salesmen spotted a "very peculiar chimney, unfinished, and it attracting their attention, they asked a flaxen-haired urchin standing near the house if it 'drawed well' whereupon the aforementioned urchin gave them the stinging retort: 'Yes, it draws ...

I used to work for a traveling carnival.

My buddy got me the job as he was part of the show. He had spent years training bees to land in his hand without them stinging him. It was quite a feat. He even grew so attached the he named his most recent bee "Uty" as we were traveling through Utah at the time.

One day, I hear my buddy shou...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.