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Stds Jokes

Why do chess masters never get STDs?

Because they always check, mate.

Apparently you can get STDs from toilet seats

But only if you sit down before the other guy gets up

STDs are a lot like Pokemon...

It's hard to catch them all, but once you do, the game is pretty much over.

If you don't like jokes about STDs...

... you're gonorrhea-lly hate this one!

Pokèmons are like STDs ....

I caught them all and now the fun is over.

I had to present a speech about STDs today.

Unfortunately, to get my point across I had to give everyone visual aids.

How do you avoid STDs while in a dangerous cult?

By making sure to practice safe sects

What’s the difference between STDs and friends?

I don’t have any friends...

What do you call redditors when they get STDs

The HIVmind

I can't mention STDs around my friend who has herpes

It's a sore spot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman have

They were a little irresponsible and didn't use a condom. After having they're in bed doing some pillow talk.

Man: Hey, you don't have any STDs or anything like that right?

Woman: Oh no, I'm clean.

Man: Oh good. I didn't want to catch HIV again.

I love some of the old saying

Sharing is caring

If you love it let it go

It's the gift that keeps on giving

and feel the burn

are all great, except if you are talking about STDS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The womanizer, the drunk, and the pot head

There was a womanizer, a drunk and a pot head that got into a car accident and died. When they arrived in hell the devil told them "welcome to hell, as a punishment you will have to spend 1000 years in your own personal rooms with punishments specific to your sins and if you learn your lesson you ge...

A guy and a girl are lying in bed after a hookup.

"Listen," the guy says, "do you have that certificate that says you don't have STDs?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well you can throw that away"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys go to hell. A fat guy, a addict, and a pothead...

Three guys go to hell. A fat guy, a addict, and a pothead.

The devil goes up to these guys and says - listen, I'm feeling nice today. I'm going to let each of you choose ONE thing and I'll lock you away in a room for a thousand years with it. The guys all look at each other in disbelief, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A visit to the doctor

A man goes to see his doctor about a symptom he's noticed recently.

"Doc, I think something's wrong with my . It has a distinctly orange color to it lately."

"Well, have you been tested for any STDs?"

"Yes - all the results were clear, so that can't be it."

"Have yo...
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