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Tss Jokes

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Ba-dum-tss

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a rimshot and a rimjob?

One goes *ba dum tss* and the other is da bum kiss.

The modern steak was invented when a piece of meat accidentally fell from a shelf, hit another two shelves, and fell right into a sizzling pan

Ba dum tss

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff

ba-dumm-tss

I'd make a political joke but it would just end up being elected president

Ba Dum Tss

Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba-dum-tss

Popped a tire on a pot hole today

Badum tss

Hit a pothole and blew out a tire today

Ba-Dum-Bum-TSS

What do you call bankrupt Santa?

St. Nickel-less.

Badum-tss.

Why did the atheist fail their quiz on exponents?

Because they don't believe in a higher power *bu dum tss*

"On this, the 10 anniversary of our time together during breast enlargement surgery, I send this note of remembrance and gratitude to you, my beloved plastic surgeon..."

"Thanks for the ***mammaries*** !"

Ba dum *TSS*!

A magnet walks into an elemental singles bar and tries a pickup line on a pretty slab of metal.

"Is your name *Beryllium*? 'Cause you can alka-***lie*** next to *my* earth metal!"

The slab of ***lead*** says "Nah. You don't *attract* me."

Ba dum TSS!

What happens when you fart quietly?

da-bum-tss






(sorry)

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot.


~*Badum tss*~

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Not the Same one] A sheep and a snake roll down a hill inside a drum

Ba dum tss ba dum tss ba tss tss dum



P.S. i know this is a shitty take on the sound, but you hear it at the start of the video.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts, that a 25 year old one doesn't?

Her belly button

Bu dum tss

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A Maybe



....Ba Dum Tss

What do you call a person who lives in Sweden but isn't native?

An artificial swedener

Badum tss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the name of the Greek god of sexually transmitted diseases?

Herpes (badumm tss)

Why is grass so dangerous?

Because it's full of blades.

*bad dum tss*

Musicians! How do you make one million dollars playing jazz?

You start with two mil. Ba-dum-tss!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you're bi and you're single..

If you're bi and you're single, you're not bisexual

You're bi-yourself

Ba-dum-tss

What law do most mathematicians break?

...They drink and derive.

*Baddum tss*

Thank you, thank you! I'll see myself out.

A redditor meets a girl...

Ba-dum-tss!

3 elephants are falling from a cliff

Two land on ground the third on water.






Ba dum tss

(AoT joke) What happened to the Survey Corps after Zeke's attack?

They became Survey Corpses.

Ba Dum Tss

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a casual-catholic scientist collectively refer to Christmas and Easter church services?

Critical Mass.

{Ba-Dum-Tss}

Can a ninja throw a star?

Shur-he-can

Bu-dum tss

What's the smell in every new Tesla called?

Elon's musk

*badum tss*

Sometimes I feel like people on the West coast are living in the past

Ba-dum tss

So a clumsy comedian walks into a music shop...

#BA DUM TSS

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