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Stables Jokes

*gestures at horses* here are the stables

\*gestures at other, flickering, vibrating horses. one horse explodes* and here are the unstables

Everyone cheered when Hercules cleaned the Aegean Stables.

Everyone except the people living downstream.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandpa loves jokes and over quarantine he sent us an extensive list of jokes. He called these ones groaners. Please enjoy. ( NSFW warning I don’t know how to tag it)

I lived in a houseboat for a while and started seeing the girl next door. Eventually, we drifted apart.



My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.



A man tried to sell ...

100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses

Oh how the stables have turned

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So some racehorses are chatting in the stables. When one starts to boast of his track record. "Out of my last 15 races, I've won 8!"

"That's nothing, I've won 19 of my last 27," said another.

"Oh that's good," says an older horse. "But out of my last 36 races, I've won
28!"

At this point the racehorses notice that a greyhound had been siting silently,
listening into the conversation. "Excuse me gentlemen. But ...

What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called?

A *neigh*bourhood

Why did the cowardly king refuse to visit his stables?

Because they were full of knight mares.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman applies for a job at his local stables...

After being shown around the yard the Irishman was asked if he has ever shoed a horse before, After a long pause...

He replies "I've haven't, but I once told a donkey to fuck off"

What did Hodor have to say about working in the stables?

'odor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a coworker in the stables and someone who has sex while high?

One is a fellow mucker...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A small person with a speech impediment was thinking about purchasing a mare for his stable.

He heads over to the ranch and asks the rancher if he could inspect the horse before he bought her. The two of them head into the stables and the rancher brings the mare out of her stall. The buyer does a walk around, inspecting the hooves and legs, before looking around for a stool. Seeing none, he...

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa can't be stand to be near fireworks because of his PTSD from the war...

One day I asked him about what happened and he let out a sigh and sat me down.

"It was 1951 in Korea, memorial day. I was stationed North of the parallel and it felt like today could finally be the one day we could relax and take a break from the war.

"The platoon spent the whole day ...

So, there was a Horse, a Sheep and a Chicken and they lived in a barn

The horse had long dreamed of learning to play the guitar.


So the horse rings a music shop and he says, “Hey, I’d love to learn to play guitar. Is there anyone who can teach me”?


The music shop manager says “That’s not an issue, let’s get you started on some music lessons.” ...

Little Johnny at the Farm

Little Johnny lives on a farm with his family. One evening the family notices that one of the donkeys had manage to get out of the stables.

Johnny’s dad tries to lead the donkey back into the stables but the stubborn animal will not budge. Johnny’s mom tries to coax the donkey with carrots an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Optimist and the Pessimist.

Once, a family had two young boys. One was an eternal optimist, finding good in everything, even terrible things. The other was a pessimist who could find no joy in the world at all.

The parents, despairing of their boys ever leading healthy, fruitful lives, sought out a psychologist for he...

A cowboy goes into town to buy a horse…

A cowboy goes into town to buy a horse, and he walks up to the local horse dealer and asks him about the horses he has to offer.

The horse dealer is telling the cowboy about one of the horses when the cowboy begins to lose interest. Out of the corner of his eye, the cowboy’s spotted the most ...

The housemaid has some bad and good news.

A housemaid calls her boss and says "I've got some good and bad news"

"Well give me the bad news first"

"Your dog died"

"My dog died! When did that happen?"

"After the horse kicked it"

"Well why in the world did the horse kick it?"

"Because the stables were ...

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