The Ketchup shortage this year was so predictable.

But I guess Heinz sight is 2020

Why is Windows software so predictable?

You can see right through it.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Rednecks have a pretty predictable stance on sex ed.

If you're a redneck with a son, it's go forth and multiply, it's your God-given right and duty!

If you're a redneck with a daughter, it's don't have sex, I'll make sure your suitor leaves with bullet holes.

If you're a redneck with both, you don't bother. They already know

Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"

After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" aga...

Which piano player is the most predictable poker player?

Ben Folds

Why are mexicans so predictable in Uno?

Because they always wish for the green card

I just finished watching a mediocre documentary on mathematical functions.

The plot was predictable and the special f(x) was terrible.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man stores his money in a bank

A well looking man is at the bank and wants to deposit 100,000$, the bank manager gets closer to him and says:

"I have notice that you deposit huge amounts of cash every few days, is it OK if I ask, where to do find the money?"

"I'm betting" says the man

"what kind of betting?"<...

I just watched a movie about a y = x graph

The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A girl and a guy go out to eat...

A girl and a guy go out to eat at a nice restaurant. It was their first date and they wanted to learn more about each other.

They generally have a nice dinner. At the end the waiter comes over with the bill. After looking at the bill the girl gets up.

Girl: I need to use the bathroom. ...

The Attorney's Wife

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, โ€œWhat time of night to...

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