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Spud Jokes

What do you call a spud high on weed

A baked potato

What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?

Moshed potatoes.

Someone at a sports event says “In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one”. Who was that someone?

The common tater

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Russian women are foraging through a previously harvested potato field.

One is lucky to find two large spuds. She holds them up and says,

“Deez potatoes remind me of my husbands testicles”

The other replies,

“Oh my, are dey dat big?”

“NO, dey are dis dirty”

My friend has a vegetable-themed bakery

What a spud-muffin

What Beer does Mr. Potato Head drink?

Spud Lite

Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…

You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…

How can you tell how fast a potato is going?

Check its spud-ometer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

HITLER WAS IRISH!!

When Hitler lived in Ireland he went by the name of Spud Murphy
He changed his name when he emigrated to Germany, calling himself Dick Tater

A little IDAHO HUMOR From John H. Hill

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

and finally they got married, and had a little sweet

potato, which they called 'Yam'.

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going...

The three Paddys are running from the Russian army...

They find a shed, in side they hide in three sacks.
A few soldiers enter and start looking for them.
They come to the first sack which paddy English man is in.
One of the soldiers gives it a kick and paddy barks.
The soldier says "it's only a bag of dogs"
They come to the second sack...

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