What do you call a spud high on weed

A baked potato

Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…

You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…

What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?

Moshed potatoes.

What Beer does Mr. Potato Head drink?

Spud Lite

How can you tell how fast a potato is going?

Check its spud-ometer.

The three Paddys are running from the Russian army...

They find a shed, in side they hide in three sacks.
A few soldiers enter and start looking for them.
They come to the first sack which paddy English man is in.
One of the soldiers gives it a kick and paddy barks.
The soldier says "it's only a bag of dogs"
They come to the second sack...

My Socials Teacher just posted this long Potato Pun

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they Called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out and ge...

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