Fatherhood Jokes

A soldier asks his sergeant if he can have a couple of days off because he's going to become a father. 'Very well, you can have three days off' the sergeant says. After three days the soldier is back and the sergeant asks him what the name of the kid is. 'No idea' the soldier responds 'but I will te... read more

Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says "My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"

The baby cries, and overcome by his emotions on entering fatherhood, the man cries as well. The midwife asks "Are you ok?". He slowly turns around, a tear in his eye and says "No, I'm Dad."

My wife & I recently bought a house. To get pretty much anywhere, the main road from our neighborhood goes through a giant cemetery.

Now, a week before we bought the house, - on Thanksgiving morning - my wife gave birth to our first child - a boy (side note, I wouldn't recommend having a... read more