UPJOKE
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A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

Cowboy Insurance

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.


"Ever have an accident?"


"Nope, nary a one."


"None? You've never had any accidents."


"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."


"Well, ...

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Shiner...

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."...

A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink.

Appalled, the preacher replies, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of
by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."

The cowboy then hands his drink back to the attendant and says, "Me too, I
d...

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The ole cowboy

An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would yo...

Cowboys don’t roll joints.

They tumble weed.

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Two cowboys are out riding the range and talking about their favorite sex positions

The first cowboy says the “rodeo” position is his favorite.

The second cowboy says he’s never heard of it before and asks how to do it.

The first cowboy responds, “Well, you mount your lady from behind then reach down and grab her tits. Then you whisper ‘these feel almost as good as ...

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A shy cowboy goes into a bar

*this is an old one but I'll give it a try*
...so he sees a nice looking cowgirl sitting on a bar stool. He doesn't know how to approach her so he just takes a seat somewhere else. After a while he gets an idea. He gets up, pulls out his gun, and shoots and kills everyone in the room, but her. He...

A Cowboy Buys a Horse (long)

A cowboy decided to buy a horse from the preacher. As the money changed hands, the preacher warned him, “Now this isn’t a regular horse. I’ve taught this one different commands. To get him to run, you must say ‘Hallelujah!’ And to make him stop say ‘Amen’. The cowboy thanked him and the preacher lef...

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The Naked Cowboy

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you dressed like this?“
The Cowboy says,...

An old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter…

That if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, an...

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A Man in a cowboy hat is going up in an elevator when a beautiful young woman gets on at the next floor.

They stand in silence for a moment as the elevator begins it's accent with the old cowboy glancing a few times at the pretty young woman.

After a few more moments the old cowboy cracked a friendly smile and said "Excuse me, miss. I don't be to be rude, but...can I smell your pussy?"

Th...

A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they'll grant 3 requests before they scalp him.

The cowboy thinks a minute then says, " I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free." So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off into the sunset. He tells the chief he needs to mull over the third request and the chief agrees to wait until sunset.

As t...

A lone cowboy nobody knew walks into a mining town bar..

He orders two drinks which he downs slowly. When he was done with his drinks, he paid the bartender and walks out to see that his horse with all his stuff is missing.

He turns around, walks back in the bar, pulls his guns from his holster and shoots them in the air.

"Which ever one o...

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A cowboy appears before St. Peter.

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered.
"On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I...

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcef...

A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97

So he rounded them up.

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was...

A cowboy emigrated to Wales

and opened a ranch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch



Unfortunately, none of his cattle survived the branding.

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A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.

''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.

The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.

As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''

A Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked . . .

. . . except for his boots.

“Where your clothes at, Slim?”

“Back at the barn. I was feeding the horses when a beautiful blonde drove up. She says, ‘I wanna show you something in the barn. Follow me.’

So I followed her. She says, ‘Take off all your clothes.’ So I do. Then she tak...

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2 cowboys talking about sex. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !"

"I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?"
"Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"

An old, blind cowboy wanders into a bar....

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husk...

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman…

He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? Wh...

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A cowboy walks into the bar, only to find it's empty.

Only the bartended, polishing a glass, is behind the bar.

"Where's everyone at?" Asks the cowpoke.

"At the hangin'." Bartender says.

"Hangin'?!" The cowboy asks. "Hadn't heard. Who are they stringing up?"

"The Brown Paper Kid."

"The Brown Paper Kid?"

"That...

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A cowboy rides in to town

A cowboy rides in to town on his horse and ropes it in front of a canteen. After a few hours of drinking he walks out and finds that his horse is missing. The cowboy turns around and bursts in to the canteen. Seeing the cowboy pissed as Hell the place goes quiet. The cowboy looks around and with a d...

A young cowboy walks into the saloon.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowb...

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Three cowboys are settling down after a long day herding cattle.

The first cowboy says, "You know, it takes a real man's man to do this job. I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why? just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second cowboy not t...

A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away.

He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.

He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.

He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematori...

A cowboy approaches this farmer and asks for a job...

... The farmer tells the cowboy that he has no vacancies - yet if the cowboy could do something special, he might consider.
The cowboy says: „Well, sir, I understand animals.“
„Ha,“ the farmer says, „how many times have I heard that before…“
In this moment, a cow moos from behind a s...

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The New Cowboy

Young man is on his first cattle drive, new to being a cowboy. Chow time, all the men are sitting around the campfire, new cowboy asks, "So what do we do for fun?' One of the old hands tells him, "Well, it's dark and nobody around - just go find yourself a stump and fuck the hell out of it."
<...

How does a German cowboy say hello?

Audi.

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So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? You got shit all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps...

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I call my dick "the Dallas Cowboys"

Because it can't last a day without getting beat, it doesn't have any rings on it, and it disappoints everybody who wants to look at it.

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender delivers it, the cowboy looks around and notices the bar is completely deserted other than himself and the bartender...

"Where is everybody? This place is usually packed this time of day," the cowboy says.

The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," says the bartender.

"What kind of name is that? Why do they call him Brown Pap...

My Favorite Cowboy Joke

A cowboy walks into a bar. He says to the barkeep, “I’ll have a shot of your best tequila.”

The bartender serves him the tequila and he knocks it back, slams the shot glass on the bar, and shouts, “T.G.I.F.”

A Latino man, sitting across the bar from the cowboy, orders a shot of the sam...

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Three cowboys (nsfw)

Three cowboys are sitting around a fire boasting about how tough they are.

The cowboy from Oklahoma says, "I was driving cattle last year, and was bit on the ass by a rattler. Finished the cattle drive. Took three days before I got the doc to look at me. Didn't shed a tear."

The cowbo...

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Three cowboys sitting around a campfire

Two are arguing who is tougher.

"Last week I rode a 2000lb bull it bucked me off so I punched it one time and it turned into steaks" said the first.
"That's nothing, last time I had sex I used a live rattler for a condom" boasted the second.

The third said nothing, and continued qui...

My best Cowboy Joke

A cowboy is hitching his horse in front of the saloon when a man storms out with a pistol. The cowboy walks into the bar, past a barfly with a half-empty drink, orders a beer and asks the barfly

“Who’s the guy who just stormed out looking for trouble?”

The barfly responds “Oh him? That...

A cowboy stops his horse next to a saloon.

He dismounts, enters the saloon and tell the barman:

\- Twenty bottles of whiskey! My horse is thirsty.

The barman gives him the order, the cowboy pays, the horse drinks it all.

\- Hey! - tells him the barman. - Ain't you going to order some for yourself?

\- Are you nuts?...

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" 
The cowboy thinks for a moment and then...

How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?

They say, "NiHowdy!"

A cowboy walks into a bar

"I'd like twenty martinis in a bucket."

"Why?"

"My horse likes them."

"This I've got to see."

The bartender mixes them up and they walk out to the horse. The horse puts his muzzle in and slurps them down.

The bartender says, "That's the damnest thing I ever saw. ...

One day while a cowboy was building a barn.....

he lost his favorite book. A week later, one of his horses came up to him holding the book in its mouth. The cowboy was stunned. He took the book from the horse and said, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not exactly,” said the horse. “Your name is written inside.”

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A Priest and a Cowboy are walking in the desert

They come across a flock of geese so the cowboy pulls out his two guns and empties them in the direction of the geese.

"Fuck, I missed!"

"Do not use that word, child, for God will smite you"

They walk on and come across yet another flock of geese. Same thing.

"Fuck, I mis...

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Two cowboys walk into a bar and sit down for a drink.

A woman sitting next to them drinking her martin starts choking on her olive.

One cowboy says to the other cowboy, "I'm going to help that there woman." He looks at her and says, "Are you choking?" And she nods yes. "Do you want me to help you?" Again she nods yes.

With that, the cowbo...

A little boy sees a cowboy

A woman stops at a rural gas station so her little boy can use the bathroom. When he comes out, his mom is standing in line at the register and behind her is a cowboy!

The boy is really excited. He goes up to the man and asks, "Excuse me, mister. Are you a real cowboy?"

The cowboy sa...

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A Cowboy Goes Into Town . . .

Two churchgoing women were walking down the street when a cowboy stopped and got off his horse.
He walked to the back of his horse and gave it a huge kiss right on the puckered ass.
Seeing the shocked look on the ladies faces the cowboy explained, "I have very chapped lips."
"Does tha...

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Old cowboy walks into a saloon

Says: I’m here to fight the trifling son of a bitch that painted my horse’s balls yellow!

Room goes silent, the biggest 7 foot tall 350 pound dude in the back of the bar stands up and says “that was me, I painted your horse’s balls yellow, care to step outside?”

Cowboy says “nope, jus...

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A cowboy enters a Wild West town.

Sees all the streets are empty, only one old man sitting quietly in the sun.

\- Hello sir, - he says. - Where is everybody?

\- Ah, everyone's off hanging Brown-Paper-Joe.

\- Who's that? Never heard of him.

\- Well, it's a guy here who's got a brown paper shirt, a brown pa...

A cowboy goes into town to buy a horse…

A cowboy goes into town to buy a horse, and he walks up to the local horse dealer and asks him about the horses he has to offer.

The horse dealer is telling the cowboy about one of the horses when the cowboy begins to lose interest. Out of the corner of his eye, the cowboy’s spotted the most ...

A poor cowboy needs a horse.

He buys the only horse he could afford, one that has its commands messed up.

"He'll go when you say 'whoa!' and stop when you say 'giddy up!'" instructs the seller.

The cowboy sets off riding the horse, feeling silly for saying 'whoa'. As he rides further, he sees an upcoming cliff. He...

A rough and tough cowboy finishes his drink at a bar and gets up to leave. ..

A rough and tough cowboy finishes his drink at a bar and gets up to leave. A minute later, he comes back in saying with a mean look in his eye "I'm going to sit down and have one more drink, and if my horse isn't back where I left it, I'm gonna have to do what I done in Texas, And I really don't wan...

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse...

"I need a horse, but I'm short on cash. What can I get for $25?" the cowboy asks the owner.

"Well, for fifteen I can give you 'ol Bill. He's seen a few years but he's still a fast horse" replies the owner.

"Why so cheap then?"

"Well, he ain't so good at listening. You see, he ge...

Why are cowboy hats curled up on the sides?

So they can fit three in the pickup

a cowboy opens up a German car dealership

Audi Partner

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What's the difference between a cross-eyed cowboy and a constipated owl?

One can shoot, but can't hit


The other can hoot, but can't shit!

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.

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Naked Cowboy

A sheriff of a small town is patrolling the town one night when he comes across a cowboy walking up Main St. The cowboy is wearing nothing except his hat, boots, and gunbelt. The sheriff is a bit surprised at first but gets over his initial shock and arrests the cowboy for indecent exposure.

...

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3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher!

Hahahahahahahahah




you guys have no idea how alone I am.

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A cowboy rides up to the saloon..

He stopped his horse at the hitching post and climbed off. "Good girl, Betsy, you have a rest." He said, and gave the horse's neck a good scratch.
He patted its side and walked to the rear. After tidying some twigs from the tail, he lifted it up and gave the horse a huge, lingering kiss on the ar...

Female Cowboys fans

Why is it considered safe to date a girl who’s a Dallas Cowboys fan?

Because she will never expect a ring!

A cowboy is sitting in a saloon...

when he looks out the window and notices his horse has been stolen. He turns around and shouts out to the rest of bar, "Alright, looks like one of you mangey dogs done stole my horse. Now, I'm going to go take a leak. And when I get back, my horse better be back outside... or else I'm going to have ...

Why do cowboys always ride horses?

Because they’re far too heavy to carry!

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A young cowboy goes off to college.

Halfway through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.

He calls home.

“Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How...

What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

… This ain’t my first rodeo

The Cowboy's are going to the Super Bowl next year

The whole team already bought tickets.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West...

...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...

cowboy walks into a blacksmith shop.

Starts picking up some tools and looking them over. Blacksmith starts getting annoyed. As he walks over to the him, the cowboy picks up a horseshoe that the blacksmith just made and burns his hand. Blacksmith says "did it burn ya?" Cowboy says "nope, just doesnt take me very long to look at a horses...

A young boy asks an old man how he got to be so old

The old man tells the boy "Oh it's an old cowboy trick! Every morning I put a spoonful of gunpowder on my oatmeal!" So the young boy starts doing it and sure enough he lived to the ripe old age of 106. He left behind 3 children, 8 grandchildren, 4 great-grandchildren and a 30 foot hole in the wall o...

Cowboy is captured

A cowboy is captured by a group of Indians after a gunfight. Because he fought so valiantly, they decide to kill him in three days, and to give him one wish each day before he dies. On the first day, he wishes to speak to his horse. The Indians bring his horse to him, and he whispers in its ear. The...

The cowboy preacher

A cowboy preacher walks into a bar and orders a sasparilla. "So tell me a little about your cowboy church," the bartender says. "Like do the cowboys believe in heaven and hell or what?" "Well we do believe in life after death," the cowboy preacher says. "We call it reintarnation."

A cowboy and an Indian are riding horseback.

The Indian stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.

He looks up at the cowboy and says, "Buffalo come".

The cowboy looks around and then back at the Indian. "How the hell do you know that?"

The Indian replied, "Ear sticky".

How do German cowboys greet people?

Haudi

A cowboy is captured by natives after a long battle.

The cowboy fought so valiantly that the natives decided to give him 3 final requests.

The cowboy is delighted and says for his first request, he wants to talk to his horse. He walks up to his horse, whispers something in his ear and the horse takes off running. A little while later he ret...

Robert, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic Texas cowboy boots.

So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "notice anything different about me?"

Margaret, Age 75, looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Robert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and wal...

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What's the difference between a cowboy hat and a tampon?

Cowboy hats are for assholes.

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Last bullshit of the year. Have you ever heard of the greatest chinese cowboy

His name was Yee Ha

/nsfw An Arizona cowboy and a California cowboy are riding the fence line one day.

They come across a sheep with its head stick in the fence. The Arizona cowboy jumps off his horse, drops his jeans, and has his way with the sheep.

When he gets finished, he looks at the California cowboy and asks, “You wanna have a go?”

The California cowboy says, “Hell yeah!” and ju...

Why did the cowboy give his cattle MDMA?

Gotta keep them dogies rollin'

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A cowboy gets with a virgin...

As she reaches her hand down his pants and grabs his penis, she says, "Whats that?"

"Oh that? Well that there is my rope!" replied the cowboy.

She goes a little further and grips his balls while saying, "What are these?"

'Well those there are my knots" exclaimed the cowboy.
T...

Two cowboys were patrolling the border between Wyoming and Utah.

Two cowboys were patrolling the border between Wyoming and Utah, one from each state. In the trail ahead they see a shining object so the cowboy from Utah jumps off his horse excitedly and picks it up. He has found a genie's lamp so he gives it a rub and the genie pops out. The genie says, "Since th...

A cowboy walks into a bank wearing only his hat and his gun..

and a security guard taps him on the shoulder and says “excuse me sir, you’re not wearing a mask and have to leave”

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A cowboy riding his trusty horse, stopped at an old tavern.

He got in and yelled "Bartender! Gimme a drink, will ya? One that's really strong!"

"Right away, sir." The bartender complied, and poured him a glass of a strong and fine scotch. However, after drinking it quickly the cowboy got angry, and made a scene.

"What the hell was that? If I as...

I'm a cowboy but my pronouns are

Ye/Haw

What do you call a retired cowboy?

Deranged.

Two cowboys are lost in the dessert,

They haven’t eaten in days and are close to death. Suddenly one see a tree covered in bacon. ‘We’re saved’ he cry’s ‘a bacon tree.’ and he runs towards it. He is shot to death.

It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

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A cowboy caught by the Indians

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up ...

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Cowboy rides into town....

( For cake day i suggest telling these jokes in series )

A cowboy rides into town. All the way down the main drag, he sees not a single soul.
He pulls up in front of the saloon and the only other person around is the sheriff, sitting on the porch.
He dismounts, ties up his horse, tips...

A naked cowboy wars into a bar.

Bartender says " I say,...I say boy why don't you have any clothes on ?"

Cowboy says "I found the most beautiful girl in the barn laying in the hay with her legs spread.

Bartender says "Wow! but what's that got to do with you being in front of me with your dingle dangling?"

The ...

What does a Buddhist cowboy say when they’re surprised?

Wut in reintarnation?

A new car has been launched especially for American cowboys

The Audi Partner.

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A cowboy was captured by a tribe of Indians...

In the morning he was brought before their chief, who said "You invade our land white man, and we going to kill you. But, it is our tribe's custom to grant the condemned three wishes, one each morning for three days, before we kill you at sundown on the third day. So, white man, what do you want ...

Young cowboy

This young Cowboy in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. The young Cowboy walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and...

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Cowboy Jack

So I used to have this friend named Jack. He was pretty fat, and he thought he was a cowboy. He loved to ride horses. I was surprised they held him up. Well Jack just kept getting fatter and fatter. He refused to give up riding. Then one day he got stuck in his saddle. He tried to throw himself over...

How did the cowboy do that?

I ask you again: Howdy do?

Old man goes to church

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services
were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean,
he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In
his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible....

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There is no arguing with cowboy logic.

The Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the naturalists had a "more humane" solution. What ...

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Did you guys ever hear the one about the asexual cowboy?

He was the flaccidest man in the west.

VENTRILOQUIST COWBOY

A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin alright"
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is th...

What do ghost cowboys wear?

BoOoOts

A Texan cowboy was walking down the road

When a little old lady walked up to him and asked, "Are you one of those cowboys every body talks about?"

"Why yes ma'am I am." He replied

"The ones who ride around on horses and herd cattle?" She continued.

"Yes ma'am I am."

"The kind who ties up those calves and brands ...

A cowboy walks into a bar

A cowboy walks into a bar a wips out his gun and said: "who stole my horse!?"
*silence*
"If the thief does not admit i will do what my father did when his horse got stolen"
One guy stands up and said: "what did your father did when his horse got stolen?"
The cowboy said: "he walked home...

Y’all ever heard how a Chinese cowboy says hello?

Ni Haody

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy walks into a bar.

He tips his hat to the bartender and sits at a booth in the corner.

A minute later, a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk in and sit at a table.

Thirty seconds pass and a nun with a bullwhip leads an alligator on a leash to the cowboy’s booth.

Less than a minute goes by and a m...

Hank the Cowboy

May not be super funny, but this joke makes my brother heave a little.





For years, Hank worked his corner of the old west frontier by himself. He'd sell his goods to people heading west and collected a good sum over time. Hank was notoriously tight fisted with his money. He was...

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