This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think Jobs are too snoopy when it comes to our private sex lives

Whenever it has the spot on the application that says “sex: ”, as a young man, I’m always just slightly caught off guard. I reluctantly put my number of times there.

Sometimes it provides me with the choice of “M” or “F” online. I always select the F for few. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to...

Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives.

I think I’m allergic to Peanuts.

Why didn’t the doctor prescribe lisinopril for Snoopy’s high blood pressure?

Ace inhibitors are contraindicated in Sopwith pilots.

Breaking News: Snoopy has officially been retired from comics.

He was tired of working for Peanuts.

How did Charlie Brown adaptively respond to snoopy's evemtual death?

Good grief.

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy.

But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles...

In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't.

The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve Peanuts on this flight."

There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman

I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends.

Godzilla is destroying a city and eating all sorts of humans.

His accomplice Bobzilla shows up with Charlie Brown, Lucy, Schroeder, and Snoopy, offering them to Godzilla..
He quickly says no.
“Bobzilla, you know I have a peanut allergy!”

I'm allergic to peanuts

If I'm even in the same room as Snoopy my face starts to swell up.

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