UPJOKE
falinewalt disneythumperdeerskunkroe deeranimationworld war iiunited statesfelix saltenfantasiaipadlos angeles zoopinocchiohunting

I call my wife Bambi

She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes. But it's really because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.

**Edit:** Some people have accused me of "being a plagiarist" and "stealing other's jokes"... Their words, not mine...

*Pause for comedic value*
<...
upvote downvote report

I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
upvote downvote report

I call my girlfriend Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute.

I just really hope her mom gets shot.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Bambi

As soon as Harry and his wife entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt walked up to Harry and became very friendly.

Harry brushed her off.

Harriet quickly objected,

\- "Harry, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
...

Bambi really misses his mother

He misses her *deerly*
upvote downvote report

Why did Thumper like Bambi?

He was his dear friend.
upvote downvote report

"Daddy, where did Bambi's mom go after she died?"

"Venice, son."
upvote downvote report

What did Bambi say when he almost got hit by a car?

Oh deer!
upvote downvote report

What do you get when you cross Bambi, and a ghost?

Bambiā€™s mom


(Credit to my aunt for this one)
upvote downvote report

I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi.

You can imagine my disappointment.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

BJ for Sore Throat

"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.


"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."


Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."

...

A blind Bambi walks into a bar.

Barman asks "And what the hell are you ?"

"No eye deer"
upvote downvote report

I just read that Disney is making a sequel to Bambi. He gets revenge on the hunters that killed his mother. They're calling it.......

Bambo
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Did ya here about that time Bambi went crazy and sat on Thumper?

He had a wild hare up his ass.

Blonde Convention

Thousands of blondes meet for the International Convention for Blondes. The emcee says we are now going to show the world that blondes arenā€™t airheads and asks for a volunteer. Bambi raises her hand and the emcee invites her to the stage.
The emcee says, ā€œOK Bambi what is 2+2 ?. Bambi closes her...
upvote downvote report

A man had a cattle ranch that he ran with his two daughters.

One day their only bull went crazy, broke through the fence and killed the man. The bull was injured and was attacking everything and everyone in sight. The daughters had to put him down. They needed a new bull, but they only had $1000 in cash. So one daughter decided to go to town and see if she co...
upvote downvote report

Whatā€™s Elon Muskā€™s favourite comedy?

Bambi
upvote downvote report

Why California is broke and Texas is not.

The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.<...
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information