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Charlie Brown Jokes

Why were Charlie Brown, Linus and Lucy expelled from school on the same day?

Because that was the day the schools banned peanuts.

The Charlie Brown Foundation is now accepting donations.

All proceeds go towards good grief counsellors.

I used to enjoy the Snoopy & Charlie Brown comic strips in the Sunday papers, but lately I've been getting a rash after reading them.

I think I've developed an allergy to Peanuts.

I can't read Charlie Brown comics anymore...

Turns out I'm allergic to peanuts.

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.

Each person was assigned a country to report on.

“Wow!” Lucy said. “I got Italy!”

“Interesting” exclaimed Linus. “I got Germany.”

With dismay, Charlie Brown said, “I got Iraq.”

Why did Charlie Brown take his pole dancing routine so seriously?

He was tired of doing comic strips.

Charlie Brown at the Model UN Club

Charlie Brown is down at the model UN club at his school where the students are each receiving their respective countries. One exclaims “I got America!” Another says “I got England.” Charlie Brown looks down at his country, and sighs, “I got Iraq.”

How did Charlie Brown adaptively respond to snoopy's evemtual death?

Good grief.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.

You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.

She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

After 6 months (or so) of listening to people talk with masks on

I finally understand what Charlie Browns teacher was saying

What does Charlie Brown on Halloween and a U.S. Marine finding out where hes getting deployed in 2004 have in common?

They can both be heard dejectedly saying "I got a rock."

The Peanuts Gang had a crossover with the WWE

Linus: "I'm up against John Cena."

Lucy: "I'm gonna slug the Undertaker."

Schroeder: "I'm fighting Roman Reigns."

Charlie Brown: "I got the Rock."

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles...

In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't.

The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve Peanuts on this flight."

Godzilla is destroying a city and eating all sorts of humans.

His accomplice Bobzilla shows up with Charlie Brown, Lucy, Schroeder, and Snoopy, offering them to Godzilla..
He quickly says no.
“Bobzilla, you know I have a peanut allergy!”

The Peanuts gang goes to a WWE show, each one randomly picking a WWE legend from a hat to dress up as for the show. Linus: "I got John Cena!" Peppermint Patty: "I got Becky Lynch! Who'd you get, Chuck?"

Charlie Brown: "I got The Rock."

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