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Nosey Jokes

Nosey zoologist

What did the monkey say to the zoologist when he saw him scratching himself?

Macaque itches.

What did the nosey pepper do?

Got jalapeños buisness!

What do you call a nosey pepper?

jalapeño business

I was really surprised when my friend said I was nosey....

...because they never mentioned that in their diary

My wife thinks I’m nosey, shameless and have no respect for her privacy.

Honestly, the things she writes about me in her diary are often really mean.

Statistics show that most Canadians are nosey.

They do, however, say "zed".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm pissed. My friend wrote all about how nosey and intrusive I am.

That's it...

This journal's going straight into the fireplace.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife asked "Can you explain why I just found some crotchless panties in your jacket pocket?"

I said "It's because you're a nosey cunt."

What do you call a dog that wants to know everyone's business?

A nosey barker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of guys open a new storefront

30 min later a nosey passer-by is peering through an open window trying to make out what’s going on..

He says, Hey what are you guys selling?

They respond .. We’re selling assholes…

He says.. business must be good, it looks like you only have two left…

20 Tons of Canaries

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door.
After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had...

A man is walking down the street with a length of string trailing behind him ...

Why are you pulling that string along ? asked a nosey cop. The mans answer? “You try pushing it”!

I drove to the local garage to fill my car up...

I noticed 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?!

I minded my own business filled my car up and went inside to pay.

As I was paying for my fuel, I heard someone...

I was walking the dog through the village cemetery earlier today...

...this nosey old woman heading the other way says "Mourning?" as we approached one another.

"No..." I answered curtly. "...I'm just walking my dog."

Honestly- I wish people would learn to mind their own business.

Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when

the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"

Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"

The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"

As Nancy used her shovel to pat...

Why did Michael Jackson have such a private life?

He wasn't nosey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a true story:

Mmmmmmmaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn! I just left the Mobil (gas station). I pulled up to get some gas and saw two police officers looking at a woman smoking while pumping gas. I'm like really look at this shit! And the police looked like they were thinking the same thing! So I go in to pay for the gas n grab s...

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