What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business!

What did the nosey pepper do?

Got jalapeños buisness!

My wife thinks I’m nosey, shameless and have no respect for her privacy.

Honestly, the things she writes about me in her diary are often really mean.

I was really surprised when my friend said I was nosey....

...because they never mentioned that in their diary

Statistics show that most Canadians are nosey.

They do, however, say "zed".

Everyone on Reddit is nosey..

See. I told you..

Why are hot peppers so nosey?

cause they're jalapeno business

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW

My wife said "Can you explain why I've just found a pair of womens knickers in your coat pocket?"

I said "Yes, it's because you're a nosey cunt"

A man is walking down the street with a length of string trailing behind him ...

Why are you pulling that string along ? asked a nosey cop. The mans answer? “You try pushing it”!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.

After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to their separate beds. However the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "*My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely.*"

So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpe...

I drove to the local garage to fill my car up...

I noticed 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?!

I minded my own business filled my car up and went inside to pay.

As I was paying for my fuel, I heard someone...

What do you call a dog that wants to know everyone's business?

A nosey barker

I was walking the dog through the village cemetery earlier today...

...this nosey old woman heading the other way says "Mourning?" as we approached one another.

"No..." I answered curtly. "...I'm just walking my dog."

Honestly- I wish people would learn to mind their own business.

20 Tons of Canaries

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door.
After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had...

Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when

the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"

Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"

The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"

As Nancy used her shovel to pat...

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Smoking

The other day I was on my front porch smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of Scotch. My nosey neighbor came up and told me "That stuff is bad for you."

I let him know that my my grandpa lived to be 102.

He asked if I thought that was from drinking and smoking.

Told him "Nope, ...

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A Man With No Arms Is Looking For A Job

One day, as he is looking through the paper, he stumbles across a listing for a bell ringer at the local church. He thinks "I bet I could handle that" and walks down to the church early the next morning. He walks in and the priest says "how can I help you my son?". The guy with no arms says "I wanna...

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This is a true story:

Mmmmmmmaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn! I just left the Mobil (gas station). I pulled up to get some gas and saw two police officers looking at a woman smoking while pumping gas. I'm like really look at this shit! And the police looked like they were thinking the same thing! So I go in to pay for the gas n grab s...

Why did Michael Jackson have such a private life?

He wasn't nosey.

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