What do nosy peppers do?

They get jalapeño business.

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeno business!

My daughter thinks I’m nosy and controlling.

At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.

Why are waiters in Mexican restaurants so nosy?

Because they get jalapeno business!

My wife thinks that I'm too nosy.

At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.

Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy?

Because the are always metal-ing.

A nosy woman was told she'd be getting half a million dollars if she stopped being nosy

"Is there another half of the million? Who's going to get it??" she responded.

Our daughter said I'm too nosy!

Husband: wow she really said that?
Me: no but I read it in her diary

What do you call a very nosy spice?

Jalapeño Business

You need to say this in a pretty thick Hispanic accent for it to work. I heard it from some classmates.

A guy is sitting on his porch when his blonde neighbor walks out to her mailbox.

She opens the mailbox, looks in, colses it up and walks back into the house. Five minutes later, she does the same thing. After another five minutes, the same thing, but this time she's visibly angry. She comes out again after another five minutes, looking furious. She looks in the mailbox and slams...

Remember: It's impolite to ask people questions about their sinuses because that's their personal business.

Don't be nosy.

[NSFW] A mother and father are snooping around in their son's bedroom.

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines.
The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this...


Sorry, I was just being nosy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pharmacy...

...and wanders up and down the aisles, looking at many things. After some time passes, the sales lady notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. The lady kindly directs him down the correct aisle and sends him on his way....

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A man walks into a bar and sees a pirate.

A man strolls into his local bar and is shocked to see a pirate sitting at the end of the bar. The guy was decked out, eye patch, peg leg, and a hook hand. A real, proper pirate.

So the man says "why not?" And pulls up a seat next to the pirate. He buys a round for himself and the pirate and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caught my wife going through the neighbour's bins.

She's not nosy. Just shit at parking

I wish the Antique Roadshow guy just told me how much my antique sword is worth.

Instead of being all nosy about where all the blood came from.

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Grandmas Tattoo

I was waiting on a table of a big family. 7 of them, three kids, mom and dad, and grandma and grandpa. Grandma was your typical OLD OLD OLD grandma. In a wheelchair with a blanket over her legs, looked like one of those apple dolls, spoke in a whisper.

She sees my tattoos, grabs me with her b...

Women smoking a cigarette at the pump

I only pass these on....

You will not believe what just happened.. I pulled into the gas station to get a coffee. When I walked up I noticed these 2 cops watching a woman who was smoking while pumping gas... I saw her and thought, "Is she stupid?!! With the cops right there?!"
But anywa...

A man ordered two drinks at once every day...

The bartenders curiosity got the better of him, and he asked "Why not just get a double?"
The man answered "I'm drinking one for myself and one for my buddy that didn't make it back from Iraq."
After a couple of months, the man started ordering just one drink. The nosy bartender asked w...

A guy looking in the classified for a used car...

sees a new Corvette listed for $50. Thinking it's a misprint, he decides to go check it out anyway. Arriving at the sellers residence, it's a dream car, not a scratch on it and it runs great.

"Ma'am, I want to buy this car. But the paper said it was only $50, what do you really want fo...

Anytime I bring something new in the house my dog always has to sniff and inspect what it is..

And I realized that dogs can be pretty nosy.

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(classic) So an old man walks into a hospital waiting room...

An old man walks into a hospital waiting room. The receptionist is rather nosy, and loves to ask people what is wrong with them for all to hear, making the wait uncomfortable.

The old man walks up to say he is there for his appointment, when the receptionist asks

"So, what are you here...

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My roommate confronted me yesterday...

Do you think I'm a nosy bastard?

No! Of course not!

Then why did you write that in your diary!

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Wife mowing the lawn

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"

I took a drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from ...

3 sisters

3 sisters return home from college with their new boyfriends in tow. One night their mother fancies a glass of water before bed. On her way back she stops in front of the door of each girls room being nosy. At the first door she hears uncontrollable laughter coming from her daughter. She moves to th...

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I called the boss this morning

and told him that I am staying at home because I wasn't feeling well.

"What's the matter with you?" The nosy bastard asked like he is some sort of medical expert!

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," I told him.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?" he asks.

"I just can't see my...

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Willie the bridge builder

An old man is sitting at the bar when a young patron walks in. He notices the old man has quite a few empty shot glasses in front of him. He approaches the old man and says, "Hello sir, I don't mean to be nosy but you sure have a lot of empty shot glasses there. What's the matter?" The old man looks...

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