Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice.
I hate being a dwarf.
A drunk man who smelled like beer
sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Sa...
Have you ever smelled moth balls?
I can never get their tiny legs apart.
Have you ever smelled mothballs?
My coworker asked me this today. “Of course!” I replied
She interjected “How did you get their tiny legs apart?”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I thought I picked a mushroom that smelled like poop
Turns out it was just toad stool
The bloke who scanned my items at the supermarket was rude, unhelpful and smelled like he'd been drinking.
That's the last time I use the self checkout..
My ex was perfect in all aspects except that her armpits smelled
Hands down the best girl I have known.
What is the capital of Finland if it smelled really bad?
Helstinky
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the N...
I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like.
But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out.
Have you ever smelled moth balls? Yes?
How'd you get their little legs apart? (Courtesy of my dad. Who laughed about this for 30 minutes.)
My wife got angry when I said her new candle smelled like wet dog and mildew...
But I was just giving my two scents on the topic
My crush told me I smelled nice
Then she asked me where I bought my cologne so she could buy her Boyfriend some
I was just driving past a dog food factory and it smelled really good.
Now I want Arby’s.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and...
I farted in an Apple store and it smelled so bad they kicked me out.
It’s not my fault, they didn’t have Windows
2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.
They had a Tutankhamen.
What did Bach say when Mozart thought he smelled something burning?
"Could Beethoven"
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