Sense Of Smell Jokes - 38 Hilarious Sense Of Smell Jokes

If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix.

Just reset to olfactory settings.

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Went for a walk with my new girlfriend

and we saw dogs mating.

She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"

I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works."

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram kn...

I have read that symptoms of the Covid19 virus can include loss of smell and taste. Well I don't know about your sense of smell....

But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.

A man with a great dane and a man with a Chihuahua go to a bar, but it says “no pets allowed”

One man says to the other “how will we bring our dogs inside?”
The second man gives the first a pair of very dark sunglasses and says “do what I do.”
He goes inside and the manager says “Sorry, no pets allowed.”
The man says “You don’t understand. This is my guide dog.”
“A great dane? ...

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One day a blind man goes to a restaurant

One day a blind man goes to a restaurant

The server asked him if he’d like to see the menu

The blind man says: “no, I am blind, just bring me a dirty fork and I will smell it and order”.

The server, confused, goes to the kitchen, and brings back a dirty fork.

The blind...

Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell?

It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.

I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19.

If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.

two men were walking thier dogs...

Two men, tom and bob were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent. "You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let’s find where it’s coming from!”. After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let’s get something to eat!" they both were hungr...

Why does the Sweet-toothed Mole have such a powerful sense of smell?

So it can detect mole asses from a distance.

An elderly woman goes to the doctor

When the doctor asks her inside, she starts:

"Doctor, please help me. I am plagued by terrible flatulence. Gladly, my farts are silent and don't smell. However, I couldn't help to fart four our five times even since I entered your office."

The doctor has a thoughtful expression on her ...

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A woman with a gas problem and a man without a sense of smell get together.

It only happened at night while she slept, she couldnt control it and heard it was bad. She was hesitant to tell him at first, but finally did. The man, who thought she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen said "That wont bother me, because luckily enough I dont have a sense of smell!". The...

So Tod goes to a new truckers joint...

He sits down and the waiter approaches him.

Do you want to hear the daily specials sir? He asks.

"No thank you", says Todd, "let me smell your hand and I'll tell you want I'd like today".

So the waiter reluctantly proceeds to offer his hand to be smelled by this weird customer.<...

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

"I think I might be coming down with COVID because I'm losing my sense of hearing."

"No, with COVID you lose your sense of smell"

"What?"

An elderly woman goes to see her doctor complaining that she has been farting a lot recently.

“Fortunately though doctor,” she continues, “They don’t make any sound or smell at all. In fact I’ve passed wind several times since I’ve been sat here!”.

The doctor looks puzzled for a minute then writes a prescription out for the woman, asking her to come back in two weeks.

Two weeks...

An old lady is sitting with her doctor

“I’ve been having the most terrible flatulence, doctor. I just can’t stop passing gas. Luckily, they’re silent and they don’t smell at all. Why, you couldn’t tell but I’ve farted at least five or six times in the few minutes I’ve been here with you.”

The doctor pulled out his prescription pad...

An elderly woman goes to the doctor's because she is concerned her constant farting.

She says " the farts are always silent and don't smell, but they're a nuisance"

The doctor prescribed some medication, and tells her to be back in a week.

A week later, she comes back, concerned, and complains that her farts are now terribly loud.

The doctor prescribes more medi...

New Covid Test

A new and easy self test for the horror of Covid 19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean).
Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favorite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.
Then dri...

A blind man was describing his favorite sport-parachuting.

When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him.

“I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go.”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?”, he was asked.

“Well, I have a very keen...

An elderly man goes to the doctor and says...

An elderly man goes to the doctor and says he has a concerning problem. "Doctor," he says, "when I pass gas, it no longer smells or makes a sound." Baffled, the doctor orders a full battery of tests; physical examination, blood work, CT scan, stool sample, the entire work up. After reviewing the ...

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A blind man once entered a fancy restaurant

A blind man once entered a restaurant known for its exquisite cuisines, with the help of some people he managed to sit at a table and called out for the waiter

The waiter being extremely courteous asked if he wanted the menu to be read out loud, the blind man said it wasn't necessary, all the...

A woman goes to see her doctor and says, "Doctor, I have an embarrassing problem."

She continues, "I have terrible gas all day every day. In fact, I must have broken wind 4 times since I have been in this room.Luckily for me, the farts are completely silent and have no smell, but I'd still like something to help me with this."

The doctor writes her prescription and sets an ...

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Three old guys are sitting on a park bench,

the first says 'I remember I used to be able to see all the pretty girls go by here. . . now . . . not so much.' The second old guy says 'Yah, it's the vision, it goes, it goes -- but me, I remember being able to smell their perfume as they passed' The first old guy says back 'Yah, it's the sense of...

Granny goes to the doctor's office, suffering from terrible gas.

"Doctor, it's awful, I'm paying gas all the time, but thank the Lord, they don't make any nose or smell bad."

So the doctor gave her a pill and told her to come back the next week, and when she did as he ordered, he asked how things went, and she replied "it's better, I guess... I mean, I'm p...

An old lady visits her doctor...

...and says to him:

"Doctor, I have a problem. I keep farting all day long, luckily they don't smell and are dead silent, can you do something to make it stop?"

"Take these pills and come back after a week for a checkup."

One week later she comes by and says:

"Doctor! Not...

I went to the doctor the other day because I was having bad gas.

It wasn't bothering me because I'm Anosmic (no sense of smell), but my wife and kids were complaining.

By the time doctor came into the examination room, I had passed gas at least four times. They felt like smelly farts, but I couldn't really tell.

I told the doctor about my problem, ...

An elderly woman visits the doctor for, ahem, a little problem.

"You see, doctor..." and she leans in to whisper conspiratorially... "I have flatulence. But you wouldn't know it because it makes no sound and it has no odor. In fact, I'm flatulent right now. Right as we speak, I swear. To be honest I'm not sure I should even bother to do anything about it, it's s...

Schrodinger's fart

Apparently Schrodinger had a lousy sense of smell.

Only way he could tell if the fart smelled bad, was if he did it into a box with a cat.

I met a man with a nose on his forehead the other day...

He said it gave him a heightened sense of smell.

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Onion Snatch

One day, 2 women were at a cafe catching up. One of them notices that the other isn't her normal self.

"What's wrong?" Asks one of the women

"I'm feeling really stressed out"

"What's going on?"

"Well to be honest, I haven't had sex in a while"

"And why not? You'...

An old lady goes to the doctor

and tells him about her condition:
- Oh doc, I'm having these massive farts all the time. Fortunately they are completely silent and don't smell at all. Could you help me with that?

The doctor prescribes her some medicine and tells her to come back next week for a check-up.

N...

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A man walks into a clinic...

A man walks into a clinic and says to the doctor:

– Doc, you see, I have this problem of excess of gases all they long. One million farts a day. They don't have any smell and they are totally silent but it is very inconvenient having to fart all they long.

The doctor says: – OK, take t...

An old lady goes to a doctor with a flatulence problem

"Doctor please help me with my gasses. Its so embarassing, in fact since Ive gotten here I passed gas a dozen times. Lucky for me it doesnt smell or make a sound but please doctor help."

The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to come back in 2 weeks. 2 weeks pass and the old lady ret...

An old woman goes to the doctor's and says she has an embarrassing problem...

She knows when she's breaking wind but it doesn't make any sound and has lost any sort of stinkiness that it used to have.

She went on to say that in fact she'd done it three times since coming in the room- and that as it's just so unnatural, it's really bothering her. He gives her some pills...

A blind guy (Dale) goes to a lumber yard looking for a job. Once he finds the freemans office he introduces himself and asks for a job.

The foreman (Greg) is unsure how a blind guy can work at a lumber yard and expresses his concerns.

Dale explains that bind people usually have heightened senses in the other areas. In his case his sense of smell is extra keen.

Greg tells him Dale that he doesn't understand how that wi...

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A beautiful woman walking into a sporting goods store...

She spends a few minutes shopping around until she finds a fishing rod that she would like to buy for herself. She picks it up and brings it to the front counter. When she arrives the only cashier is a blind man.

"Good choice" The blind man says "That rod is only $20 this week"

"How do...

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The Leprechaun Thief

I met a Leprechaun once, in a pub in Ireland. He was just minding his own business when I sat down on the stool next to him and ordered my drink.

"Your favourite Stout, please.", i said to the bartender. The Leprechaun turned his head and sized me up.

"You're a proper lad", he quipped....

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Taser Gun

Last weekend I saw something at Costco that sparked my interest.

The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt,
pocket/purse-sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short...

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