UPJOKE

You Smell Jokes

I was on a date and she said you smell nice, what have you got on?

I said I’ve got a hard on but I didn’t know you could smell it
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What should you do if your kid comes home and you smell marijuana?

Have a joint discussion.
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What do you smell if you (accidentally) burn a cat?

Purr-fume...

No cats were harmed in the making of this joke!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it called when you make sure you smell real good before getting a camera shoved up your bbutt?

Cologne-oscopy

What fragrance makes you smell like a million bucks?

Elon's Musk
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When you smell pee in the street you can tell

Urine the wrong neighborhood
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Bad pickup line: Dang girl, you smell like garbage...

Can I take you out?
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How do you smell once you get of bed?

Like sheet.
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Do You Smell That?

Bill’s wife goes out to buy a car. The salesman says, I recommend this one. She asks why. The salesman says, “Because it has hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.”

He drives the car 100 miles an hour toward a brick wall, and when he’s 100 feet away he jams on the brakes. They s...
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Darling, do you smell anything?

SO: no?
Me: me neither. Start cooking.....
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Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States...

Wandering aimlessly and starving, They are about to lie down and accept their death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune,...
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Wow you smell nice today Jim, what did you put on?

Clean underwear
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*sniff...sniff* Guy: "Honey! Do you smell that?"

Girl: "No babe."
Guy: "Yeah me neither, start cooking."
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Can you smell mothballs? I can't.

I can never get their legs far enough apart.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife asked, "why do you smell like vanilla?"

I don't know, the stripper smelled like orange.

You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you smell a steak cooking on the grill?

Is that what happens to vegans when they mow the grass?
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two men were walking thier dogs...

Two men, tom and bob were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent. "You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let’s find where it’s coming from!”. After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let’s get something to eat!" they both were hungr...
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This police dog comes up to me and starts sniffing and wagging his tail, and I say "hi there, boy, can you smell my dog then?"

And the handler says "No, sir, this is a sniffer dog -- he only alerts for narcotics", and I say "heh, yeah, my poor pooch has such a habit..."
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AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can't be right

I've never had any problems with my nose and I'm still single.
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