UPJOKE

You Smell Jokes

I was on a date and she said you smell nice, what have you got on?

I said I’ve got a hard on but I didn’t know you could smell it

What should you do if your kid comes home and you smell marijuana?

Have a joint discussion.

What do you smell if you (accidentally) burn a cat?

Purr-fume...

No cats were harmed in the making of this joke!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it called when you make sure you smell real good before getting a camera shoved up your bbutt?

Cologne-oscopy

What fragrance makes you smell like a million bucks?

Elon's Musk

When you smell pee in the street you can tell

Urine the wrong neighborhood

Bad pickup line: Dang girl, you smell like garbage...

Can I take you out?

How do you smell once you get of bed?

Like sheet.

Do You Smell That?

Bill’s wife goes out to buy a car. The salesman says, I recommend this one. She asks why. The salesman says, “Because it has hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.”

He drives the car 100 miles an hour toward a brick wall, and when he’s 100 feet away he jams on the brakes. They s...

Darling, do you smell anything?

SO: no?
Me: me neither. Start cooking.....

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States...

Wandering aimlessly and starving, They are about to lie down and accept their death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune,...

Wow you smell nice today Jim, what did you put on?

Clean underwear

*sniff...sniff* Guy: "Honey! Do you smell that?"

Girl: "No babe."
Guy: "Yeah me neither, start cooking."

Can you smell mothballs? I can't.

I can never get their legs far enough apart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife asked, "why do you smell like vanilla?"

I don't know, the stripper smelled like orange.

You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you smell a steak cooking on the grill?

Is that what happens to vegans when they mow the grass?

two men were walking thier dogs...

Two men, tom and bob were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent. "You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let’s find where it’s coming from!”. After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let’s get something to eat!" they both were hungr...

This police dog comes up to me and starts sniffing and wagging his tail, and I say "hi there, boy, can you smell my dog then?"

And the handler says "No, sir, this is a sniffer dog -- he only alerts for narcotics", and I say "heh, yeah, my poor pooch has such a habit..."

AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can't be right

I've never had any problems with my nose and I'm still single.

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