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Smelling Jokes

My friend was mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear.

I can't tell if it was because the rest of his family was there, or because they were still on her.

It sure made the rest of the funeral awkward.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nice Smelling Hair!

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.


After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to HR.
Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker do...

My toenails turned green, shrank, and started smelling like mint.

My doctor says I have a rare condition called Tic Tac Toes.

My mother-in-law just called and said that she suspects smelling gas, asking what she should do.

I told her: you’re such a wonderful and religious person, you should light a candle and pray.

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings...

You know she's a keeper...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man smelling of alcohol and weed sat next to a priest on a bus.

The man’s clothes were ragged and dirty, there was pink lipstick on his collar, and an almost empty bottle of rum stuck out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

A few minutes later he turned to the priest and said, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthr...

When You Have An Optimistic View On What You're Smelling, You're Smelling...

Rose tinted gases.

Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling?

It was beginning to DK

What's the best way to keep smelling fresh?

Put a dryer sheet in your face mask.

Jimmy farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, “Jimmy, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"

“I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.” The principle asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?”

“Because those i...

What's the best smelling insect?

A deoder-ANT

A woman smelling strongly of hard liquor wakes up in a police station, dazed and confused.

She asks the first police officer she sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

=====

"That's great," says the woman, "when do we start?"

On the last day of Barack's presidency, he and Donald Trump go to the same barbershop to get their hair done.

On the last day of Barack's presidency, he and Donald Trump go to the same barbershop to get their hair done.

Barbers decide not to talk about politics, and everybody ends up not talking at all. The air is so tense. it could be almost cut with the barber's knife.

Donald's hair gets fi...

Every morning when this woman's husband wakes up he let's a loud and horribly smelling fart.

She tells him over and over "some day you're going to fart your guts out!"
Her husband just laughs and brushes it off.

This goes on for months until Thanksgiving comes around and she is preparing the turkey. The woman gets this idea. Her husband is still sleeping so she grabs the turkey gu...

I'm terrible at smelling things

I meant spelling, sorry

What do you call a good smelling rapper?

Post Cologne

Do you know that some crazy guys stop smelling of anything?

It’s called a de-scent into madness

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is in his mid-80s, well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of an expensive after shave. He presents a very nice image.

Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her mid-70s.

The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits alongside her. He orders a drink and takes a sip.

He slowly turns to the lady and says: "So, tell me; do I come here often?"

What's the worst smelling math problem?

Log((ne)^co)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the worst part about smelling moth balls?

Having to move the moth dick out of the way first.

What's the strongest smelling vegetable there is?

A Roma tomato

Feet are for running, and noses are for smelling, but . . .

my feet smell and my nose runs.

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