UPJOKE
fragmentsplinterchunksliceshavingparingflecksplitchipdivideseparateshapeswathexpansedissever

Sliver Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to see a prostitute. (unpleasant joke ahead)

"Is it true what they say about you?"
"Yes honey, absolutely. I can suck you off, and sing the Star-Spangled Banner at the same time. Wanna give it a go?"
"That sounds amazing. I've got to experience it for myself."

They go up to her place. They move to the bedroom immediately and he p...

A man walks into a bar with a little sliver of metal on his tie...

The barman says "sorry, we don't want your tie-pin here"

What do you call small splinters in your thermal underwear?

Long John slivers

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked?

Because the sign said tennis shoes only.


*edit*
Thanks for the sliver kind person

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy strikes up a conversation with the guy next to him in an ER waiting room.

A guy is sitting in an ER waiting room. The guy next to him is complaining because he has a sliver of metal in his eye. The first guy says, “That’s got to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you!” The second guy says, “No, actually, this one winter I was up at my hunting shack, and I had to ...

The trainee competition judge arrived at the village fair

He meets his mentor at the entrance.

"Nice to meet, nice to meet, nice to meet you," stammers the mentor. "Forgive my, forgive my, forgive my speech impediment."

"Please, don't worry about it," says the trainee.

They head off to judge the villagers' chilli peppers. They come to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man is walking through the park at night...

when he sees a small, dark figure in the distance. He is curious, and gets closer and sees a small person with his back to him. He touches the small man on his shoulder to turn and identify the person and is shocked...

"I can't believe what I am seeing! This has to be my lucky day! Are you.....

Hey world. Can we talk about mustard?

We've all been there.

You get home from the sandwich shop, you open the bag, and... wet. Why is it this wet?

Your hands are yellow. You pull an oozing slab of food out of the paper sack. Both sides of the bread have been painted. Every ingredient, every sliver of lettuce or onion, is ...

2 Mexicans were walking through the desert...

It'd been more than a week since either of them had eaten anything, and their last bottle of water had just gone dry. They'd been walking for hours on end.

Suddenly on the horizon, one of the Mexican's spotted something. 'Look over there my friend, you see the green thing?'

His friend ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.