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This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall...

He asks the bartender, "What the fuck is that?"

The bartender replies, "It's a moose."

The Scottish chap shouts back, "Fuck me! How big are the cats?"

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3 men went on a skiing vacation

They ordered a lodge to sleep in, but when the got there, there was only 1 bed, so they had to all share it. The next morning the 2 men on the sides were covered in cum, while the middle one was fairly clean. They all came to a consensus that someone jerked off over night. The 2 on the sides both sa...

Three guys go to a ski lodge!

There aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.

Then the guy in the ...

Why shouldn’t you let somebody who just got out of rehab go skiing?

Because it’s a slippery slope

My friend took me water skiing behind his boat.

When I fell, my foot got caught in the line and he thought it would be funny to drag me around like that for a few minutes.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed

In the morning the following conversation takes place.

Man on left: “I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”

Man on right: “No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”

Man in middle: “That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

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A Scotsman went skiing in Canada for the first time.

At the end of a great day on the slopes, he retired to the local tavern. After getting six whiskeys in him he stood up and turned around to discover a large, stuffed animal head with giant antlers hanging from the wall.

"Barkeep," he said, "what the hell is that?"

The bartender said, "...

Three guys go on a skiing trip.

The lodge they check into only has one room available, so they decide to all sleep in the same bed. They go skiing and have a lot of fun, and come back to the lodge and go to bed.
The next day the guy who slept on the right side of the bed said, “I had the most vivid dream that I was getting a ha...

Three guys go on a ski trip

Three guys go on a ski trip, and the lodge they are staying in only has one room with one bed. The guys are close friends and they don't mind sharing a bed for the night. In the morning the one friend on the right side of the bed explains how he had a dream where he got a handjob. The guy on the lef...

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[NSFW] Tow best friends where on a skiing trip together with their wives.

During the after ski, the men decide it would be a good idea to go to bed with each others wives. The men whom had been drinking both though this was a fantastic idea. They both agreed to make a competition out of it. Whom could make the others wife climax the most times wins.

Not to draw su...

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs water-skiing?

Skip

Three friends go on a skiing trip.

Three friends go on a skiing trip, but they need to save money so they rent a cabin with only one bed that’s big enough for all three of them.

After the first night the guy on the left says he had the most amazing dream. A busty blonde seduced him and gave him an amazing handjob.

The...

Three guys went to a ski lodge after a tiresome day of skiing.

There was only one bed, so they had to share it. When they woke up the next morning, the guy on the left side of the bed said he saw the most amazing dream. "This beautiful lady gave me a wonderful handjob". The guy on the right said; "I had the exact same dream! It felt so real!" The guy in the mid...

Just saw a guy from Helsinki dominate the cross-country skiing event at the Winter Olympics

He led the race from start to Finnish.

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.

They loaded up in Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out ...

I don't know why people get so excited about skiing vacations

Right from the start they go downhill very fast.

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3 friends go to a ski lodge...

But the receptionist at the front dest said that the lodge was over booked, and the friends have to share a room.

After walking in they notice that there’s only one bed. They decide to go to bed early and set their alarms for 6:30am.

The buzzer sounds and they awake. The one on the lef...

Todd took a week off from the office.

He booked a vacation to go skiing. Before his first trip down the mountain, he heard an unbelievable rumble, and before he could move he was covered in snow. He found shelter in a small cave and was able to start a fire and make himself comfortable until help arrived. After a few hours, there was a ...

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[NSFW] Three men get lost in a city.

Not knowing what else they could do, they decide to book rooms for the night at the closest hotel. They ask the receptionist for any available rooms they could rent, and the receptionist informs them that there was only one room with a queen-sized bed left for them.

The men decide that bunki...

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Three Men are sleeping in a hotel bed. (NSFW)

When they finally wake up, they start talking about the dreams they had.

The one on the left says: “Guys, you’re never gonna believe this, I just had the dream of a lifetime! I received an amazing handjob. It was like it was being done by a professional!”

The guy on the right chimes i...

So I went skiing with a man in a massive jacket...[Original Joke]

So I was going skiing last winter, and I was having a really good time. As I get on the lift to go up to the top of the mountain, a man in a massive puffy cotton jacket sits next to me. Now when I say massive, I mean MASSIVE! I'm not sure how this guy could move, nevermind ski. I start making polite...

I recently got very addicted to skiing

My doctor told me I'm going down a slippery slope

I use to like going skiing. But that hobby...

Went downhill so fast

What does a blind man use to ski?

A skiing eye dog

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Three men checked into a hotel. The clerk at the counter told them there are only one room left. Three men decided to share the bed.

Next morning, the man that slept in the right side of the bed said, "I had a really weird dream last night, I dreamed that someone jerked me off."

The man that slept in the left side said, "That's weird, I had the same dream!"

The man in the middle said, "I had a different dream, I dre...

A man was water skiing when he fell into the river.

As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. The man put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”

The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”

Every president has a secret service codename.

The current president is “Mogul”. I looked it up.
Mogul: a member of the Muslim dynasty of Mongol origin
Nope, that can’t be it, unless he’s a total self-hater. Try alternate definition:
Mogul: In downhill skiing, an ice-cold lump; an extremely dense obstacle to human progress, a destabil...

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(NSFW) Three men and a bed

Three guys walk into a motel and find out there is only one room with only one bed. Since it's the only motel in town, the guys decide to share the bed. They get to their room, squeeze in, and fall asleep. 
The next morning, the guy on the left side of the bed wakes up and says, "I had the crazie...

Did you know that a cyclops’ favorite winter activity is sking?

It’s like skiing, but with one “eye”

Downhill Skiing

3 rock climbers (Bob, Tim, Jack) were attempting to climb Everest. In a freak accident, Bob and Tim lost all of their supplies. Unable to progress any further, they decide to make camp and share jack's supplies. The three of them slept side to side, with bob and Tim on either side of jack. In the mo...

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Two friends go to Vegas

But lost their wallets, between them they now only have $8.00.

The first friend says “give me the money, I have a great idea”

He goes into Walgreens and comes out with a bag

Second friend grabs it and looks inside and sees a box of tampons. He says “that’s great, you waste our l...

I Gave Up Cross Country Skiing.

Ever since it's all been downhill.

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so there are these three guys going on a skiing trip

and one day they are skiing when a massive blizzard arrives from the middle of nowhere. so they dig a snow cave because it's either that or death. they huddle up together for warmth during the night and fall asleep. in the morning the one on the right says 'i had a dream that someone touched my peni...

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Three friends go skiiing

These three friends decide to go on a skiing trip.

When they get to the resort and find the cabin they've rented, they realize its only one king sized bed. Undeterred by this, the three friends decide to just deal with it and share the bed as they will only be in here to sleep for a couple o...

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