This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor...

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doc, Everytime I bust a nut I get this overwhelming sense of impending doom!"

So the doctor goes to run a bunch of tests, comes back and tells the man "It's all in your head, your penis doesn't semen portent."

I knew my camping holiday was doomed when I saw the people at the next pitch struggling with a torn ground sheet and bent pegs.

It was a portent.

You’re gonna die

I don’t usually remember what my dreams are about unless they're especially portentous. That means when you dream about something that's gonna happen.

Like one night, I had a dream where this crow came and said, “Your aunt is gonna die.” I was so scared I woke up my parents but they said it ...

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