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Sects Jokes

Sects, Sects, Sects

That's all monks ever think about

Praying mantises don't all follow the same religion.

They're in sects.

The Joy of Sects

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

...

Jehovah is showing Ra around Heaven one day...

... when a man runs up to them, crosses himself, then spreads his arms and closes his eyes.

"Excuse me," Jehovah says to Ra, "this will only take a second." He waves his hands, there's a flash of light, and a purring kitten goes scampering away from where the man had been.

"Other than ...

What did the warring religious sects say to each other after they made peace?

"Good Shiite."

"See you Sunni."

Do you know how many 3rd party sects the catholic church is protecting?

None, catholics aren't allowed to have protected sects.

Why don't bees go to church?

... because they are in sects

An entomologist walks into a bar and orders a grasshopper.

An entomologist walks into a bar and orders a grasshopper. "We haven't seen you in a while. How is your research going?" the bartender asks. "Great. I've actually had quite a breakthrough. I've discovered that praying mantises don't all follow the same religion," the entolomolgist says. "They're in ...

Why do bugs have odd beliefs?

They're in sects.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Be careful who you talk to about religion in West Virginia

You could be talking about sects with a miner!

Joke

Don’t join dangerous cults
Practice safe sects

Anyone planning on attending their non-conformist church now that COVID restrictions are lifted?

Remember to bring your mask. Always practice safe sects.

...I'll see myself out.

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Did you hear about the non-denominational Christian who converted to Catholicism because of his Catholic wife?

He didn’t believe in sects before marriage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Celibacy and atheism are quite similar.

One is avoiding sex, and the other is avoiding sects.

Why doesn’t scientology have any coal workers?

because sects with miners is illegal

What do you say to a theologian graduate with a good GPA?

"Oh, high marks! How's your sects life?"

Why do politicians always claim to be religious?

Because sects sells.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife hates the study of cults that worship the rear end.

But personally, I love butt sects.

Started a new religion

Doesn't matter, had sects.

How do religions reproduce?

They have sects.

What's the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

Protestants have sects.

Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth.

Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets.

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