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Sunni Jokes

Why is the British weather like Islam?

Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite

My mom is a sunni, my dad is a shia

I'm sushi.

What caused the rift between the Sunni and the Shia?

A clerical error

What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS?

They really scared the Shiite outa me!

A Sunni and a Shia Muslim have a child together

They name her Sushi

Donald Trump was recently asked "Do you know the difference between Sunni and Shia?"

He replied "I don't know which is which but I loved their song 'I got you babe'."

What do you call an Islamist who publishes propaganda about Sunnis?

A Shiite poster.

Why is the weather so nice in Saudi Arabia?

It's always Sunni!

What do you call a Muslim that only prays during the Summer?

Sunni.

Muslims are a lot like breakfast eggs.

If they aren't Sunni side up, they're probably Shiite.

English Weather

I just read something about weather in England:

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._

In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK po...

What have Muslims and Scottish weather got in common?

They're often either Sunni or Shiite.

A muslim couple decided to have a baby.

The day of labour came and Doctor came out of the maternity ward with a grim look on his face.

Father asked what was wrong.

Doctor asked the father, which type of muslim he was.

"I am a sunni muslim," father replied.

"And your wife?"

"She is a shiite."

Docto...

The British weather has just been declared Muslim

A little bit Sunni but mostly Shiite

What's a Muslim's favorite TV show?

It's always sunni in Philadelphia

What did the warring religious sects say to each other after they made peace?

"Good Shiite."

"See you Sunni."

I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast

It's mostly Sunni

Two Muslim vampires are discussing the weather...

Vampire 1: It's really Sunni outside.

Vampire 2: Shiite!

Courtesy of my 8-year-old.

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain...

Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning.

"Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. W...

Shia muslims are not welcome in the City of Brotherly Love...

Because it's always sunni in Philadelphia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

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