How can you tell when seaweed is in trouble?

It yells "kelp!"

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?


My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life

I told her to sea kelp

Why did the kelp attend Pride?

Because it was part of the algae-BT community.

What should you do if you are addicted to sea weed?

Sea kelp.

I’m addicted to seaweed.

I must seek kelp.

This is a bad seaweed joke.

Sorry, I just couldn't kelp myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

I have this weird compulsion to stare at seaweed

I desperately need to see kelp

What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when be cracked his shell?

Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!

What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp

What did the fish say to the seaweed?

May I kelp you?

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?


My mother died suddenly from natural causes.

I strangled her with kelp.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.