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Kelp Jokes

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

Sea-kelp

I’m addicted to seaweed.

I must seek kelp.

How can you tell when seaweed is in trouble?

It yells "kelp!"

Why did the kelp attend Pride?

Because it was part of the algae-BT community.

I have this weird compulsion to stare at seaweed

I desperately need to see kelp

My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life

I told her to sea kelp

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when be cracked his shell?

Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!

This is a bad seaweed joke.

Sorry, I just couldn't kelp myself.

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?

Kelp!

What did the fish say to the seaweed?

May I kelp you?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
<...

My mother died suddenly from natural causes.

I strangled her with kelp.

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