What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?


My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life

I told her to sea kelp

Why did the kelp attend Pride?

Because it was part of the algae-BT community.

What should you do if you are addicted to sea weed?

Sea kelp.

This is a bad seaweed joke.

Sorry, I just couldn't kelp myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

I have this weird compulsion to stare at seaweed

I desperately need to see kelp

What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when be cracked his shell?

Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!

What line convinced the seaweed to receive therapy?

"Stop it, get some kelp"

What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?


My mother died suddenly from natural causes.

I strangled her with kelp.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.

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