Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health
From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
The Cool Clam Club
Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.
Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...
What’s the difference between an epileptic eating clams and a hooker with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits, and the other...
What do clams do for their birthday?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"
Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeon...
Beautiful clams don't look out for others
They're pretty shellfish
A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish.
They call it their No Clams Bonus.
A man is in the middle of his eye exam.
It seems to be going well until the doctor asks him to cover one eye and read words off a board.
The doctor asks, “What does this say?”
The man says, “That’s easy enough. I.”
The doctor points at the next line.
“That says Am.”
The doctor points at the next line, an...
A man goes to the doctor as he has a problem speaking.
He says, “Doctor, I’m having a problem where I can’t speak this specific letter. It’s getting really irritating!”
The doctor, using his quick thinking, says, “Alright, repeat all the letters in the alphabet for me.”
The man rattles of the first twenty, but then clams up, face full of f...
My dyslexic brother-in-law eats shellfish for anxiety...
He says it clams him down.
At the beach
(When I was growing up, my father used to tell this joke at every thanksgiving gathering of friends and family. I was mortified each time. Now it's one of those memories that makes me smile, regardless of the joke quality...)
Me and my buddy were out along the beach one weekend looking for c...