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Scoffing Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and a hen enter a bar together

They sit down at the table. The hen has extraordinarily long legs.

The waiter asks the guy what he wants.

The guy, with a sad and tired expression asks for a black coffee and a slice of applepie.

The hen promptly says: "I'll have the same, thanks".

The waiter is amazed by...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cottage in the middle of the woods

An explorer was lost in the forest, and luckily came upon a cottage in a clearing. He knocked and an old Chinese man opened the door. The man was willing to let the explorer stay on one condition: he didn't approach his daughter or he would impose the three worst Chinese tortures upon him.

D...

So an Original Joke walks into a bar

"One front page spot, please" he asks politely, approaching the bar.

He hands the bartender his ID, but he barely looks at it before flicking it back.

Scoffing, the bartender replies
"Not old enough; come back in 5 years"

A Jamaican man was recently employed in a butchers...

...one of his jobs that night was to prepare bacon sandwiches for the next morning but he ended up wasted on a 6 pack of beer and when he sampled the bacon he found it to be too delicious and ended up scoffing the whole lot.

In the morning when the owner asked to try a sandwich, the guy panic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young couple is watching TV together.

Doctor Phil comes on, and the boyfriend scoffs. "This guy doesn't know shit!" he says.

The girlfriend is annoyed and tells him to shush. They continue watching. The boyfriend continues scoffing, and the girlfriend continues to shush him.

Doctor Phil says, "Sometimes you can say somethi...

A man sends a bottle of champagne to a beautiful woman at a nearby table.

She sends back the bottle with a note

"Thank you. But in order for me to accept this bottle of champagne you must have a Lexus in the garage, a million in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants"

Scoffingly the gentleman sends back the bottle with his note

"Well miss, i have two br...

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