This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scottish Flirting

A couple went out to the pub in Scotland for a few drinks. The boyfriend went to the loo, leaving his girlfriend alone at the bar.

A sauced fellow approaches her at the bar. "Wow," he says in his thick accent, "you're so beautiful! If yous was my girlfriend, I'd kiss ye all over!"

The ...

One Sunday, a minister played hooky from church so he could shoot a round of golf.

St. Peter, looking down from Heaven, seethed. “You’re going to let him get away with this, God?”

The Lord shook his head.

The minister took his first shot. The ball soared through the air 670 yards and dropped into the cup for a hole in one.

St. Peter was outraged. “I thought yo...

Reddit, what's a joke you ABSOLUTELY HATE but everyone else seems to love?

Mine is that old binary one -

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

Well DUR HUR HUR, congratulations on counting to two. Being a timid person, I just chuckle and seethe on the inside.

Two scientists walk into a bar, one says "I'll have some H2O"

The other says "I'll have some water too please"

He then turns to his friend and asks him "Why would you order water like that?"
The first scientist says nothing, but seethed that the assassination attempt failed.


It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback bl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is sitting in a pub...

..as she is sitting there a man spies her. He walks up to her and says "I think you're beautiful and would love to buy you a drink." The woman replies, "no thank you, I'm not interested". The man goes back to his seat. After a few more drinks the same man walks back up to the woman and says, "I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“This is good!”

Once there was a king. His best friend was a commoner, a man who was the son of one of the royal housekeepers. They were of an age, and had grown up playing together in the palace gardens.

As they grew older, the king found himself more and more impressed with his friend’s ability to always ...

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