Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.
The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."
Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:
Extensive research has revealed the ultimate fate of Lord Greystoke, better known as Tarzan.
It seems he lost his grip on a slippery creeper whilst swinging through the jungle, and fell to his death.
The native tribe who discovered his body gave him their highest honour: they extracted his intestines, dried them in the sun, and used them as the strings of a musical instrument which w...
A young nurse is hired at a Glasgow hospital.
Towards the end of the shift, he is assigned to a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient. "Hello, sir, how are you today? Is there anything I can do for you?" The patient replies,
"Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe...